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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v. 139 v.63

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. v. 139 v. 63
Nowadays, it is undoubtedly that some undesirable situations occur in people’s life. Most of the time, it is completely possible to change or improve how to lead with it. In my opinion, everyone who is affected by an unpleasant condition may try to resolve or at least decrease the harm caused by it. Firstly, sometimes these kinds of dilemmas are related to the job. Some people hate their work and, as a consequence, they feel depressed, stressed and frustrated. For example, a father who works in a disagreeable job might persist in it because he needs the money to survive. However, he should try to find something better, or at least, something that he does not hate. Secondly, the lack of money to afford vital necessities is another stressful bad situation very common in the society. For instance, most of the marriage problems and family fights are due to financial trouble. It would be better to resolve this lack of resource than fight with the loved ones and create a new, and maybe bigger problem. Thirdly, some natural disasters or medical question can also become an undesirable situation. As illustration, the COVID-19 breakout and quarantine caused many troubles in everybody’s life. The social, financial, psychological and healthy were affected. But, even if one is not possible to change this pandemic, he could improve their way to see it and be psychological positive. To sum up, most of the time it is possible to lead with the many bad circumstances that occur every day. I do believe that everybody should try to be positive and resolute in their questions instead of staying in the same place.
Nowadays, it is
undoubtedly
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undesirable situations occur in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life. Most of the time, it is completely possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
how to lead with it. In my opinion, everyone who is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by an unpleasant condition may try to resolve or at least decrease the harm caused by it.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these kinds of dilemmas
are related
to the job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hate their work and, as a consequence, they feel depressed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and frustrated.
For example
, a father who works in a disagreeable job might persist in it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he needs the money to survive.
However
, he should try to find something better, or at least, something that he does not hate.

Secondly
, the lack of money to afford vital necessities is another stressful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in the society.
For instance
, most of the marriage problems and family fights are due to financial trouble. It would be better to resolve this lack of resource than fight with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and create a new, and maybe bigger problem.

Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural disasters or medical question can
also
become an undesirable situation. As illustration, the COVID-19 breakout and quarantine caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
troubles in everybody’s life. The social, financial, psychological and healthy were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, even if one is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this pandemic, he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it and be psychological
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

To sum up, most of the time it is possible to lead with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
circumstances that occur every day. I do believe that everybody should try to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and resolute in their questions
instead
of staying in the same place.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. v. 139 v. 63

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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