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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 138 v.62

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 138 v. 62
It is not doubt that man is a social animal, he or she has to face many problems during their life. Certain individuals claim that it is good to receive an evil situation, namely unsatisfactory tasks or shortage of money. However, others believe that it is better to try and improve these situations, which they come to deal. I will discuss both viewpoints as well as add my own opinion in the following paragraphs. To start with those people who opine that people should receive any bad situations. There are just two major causes, which help to describe. Firstly, there are many times, the masses have to go some suffer losses. For example, when a human is becoming a rich man. He or she has to face many quandaries. They do many things, but they fail to achieve them. And when they see a way to become wealthy, they choose injures, because that time they are facing shortage problems of money. They are not able to complete the needs of their family members. Secondly, people know very well about the jobs, as it is very difficult to obtain the well-paid jobs by the people. Individuals always try to get the latest jobs. Yet, they cannot get. When bad jobs are given to the people by the government. A somebody wants to approach for doing this type of jobs. On the flip side, it is very important in order to try the situation. First step is that, it helps to the individual for doing very well. For instance, if a person wants to live in the modern era. It is very necessary fight with anything. Because, when a man does not kill his problems. He or she is not able to live with freedom. To conclude, even though problems have become a common part in the life of the humans, but it is very significant to solve the bad bothers. So I deem that, if a somebody wants to get the high-level of wages, it is very necessary tackling the issues.
It is not doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is a social animal, he or she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
during their life. Certain individuals claim that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to receive an evil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
namely
unsatisfactory tasks or shortage of money.
However
, others believe that it is better to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to deal. I will discuss both viewpoints
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should receive any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two major causes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, the masses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suffer losses.
For example
, when a human is becoming a rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. He or she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
quandaries. They do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they fail to achieve them. And when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a way to become wealthy, they choose injures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that time they are facing shortage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of money. They are not able to complete the needs of their family members.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to obtain the well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Individuals always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Yet
, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. A somebody wants to approach for doing this type of jobs.

On the flip side, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to try the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
First
step is that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to the individual for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
For instance
, if a person wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the modern era. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary fight with anything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
does not kill his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. He or she is not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with freedom.

To conclude
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have become a common part in the life of the humans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant to solve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
bothers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I deem that, if a somebody wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the high-level of wages, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary tackling the issues.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 138 v. 62

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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