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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 137 v.61

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 137 v. 61
Some people think that acceptance behaviour of difficult as an unexpected career or miserable living condition is better while others approve that they should make the attempt to overcome life's obstacles. From my perspective, I strongly believe that people who live with the endeavour will have a more valuable contribution. On the one hand, a group of people is content with their current bad situation and do not want to overthrow although they are young. In fact, they fear the worst and new challenges so they do not change their constant lives. For instance, some people accept an unsatisfactory job with a heavy workload or a boring job instead of job-hopping. Because the do not want to renounce various perks namely sick leave, a generous retirement package or yearly bonuses. And they feel hard to adapt to a new workplace. Moreover, this type of people usually gains hugely financial burdens as bank debt or monthly expenditure on their children. On the other hand, it is needless to say that lots of optimistic people who always expand their abilities and never give up. Therefore, their attempts not only help them progress their living conditions but also improve their mental health. More specifically, the working environment or low financial status is the most popular reason for depression and stress in the youth. Hence, enhancing the negative situation would reduce the number of mental health disorders, including depression, personality disorders, psychotic disorders. In conclusion, though others suggest that it is best to stand a deficient situation, I think that people should improve every state, whether job or living-related or otherwise to provide themselves with a greater sense of fulfilment.
Some
people
think
that acceptance
behaviour
of difficult as an unexpected career or miserable living condition is better while others approve that they should
make
the attempt to overcome life's obstacles. From my perspective, I
strongly
believe that
people
who
live
with the
endeavour
will have a more valuable contribution.

On the one hand, a group of
people
is content with their
current
bad
situation and do not want to overthrow although they are young. In fact, they fear the worst and new challenges
so
they do not
change
their constant
lives
.
For instance
,
some
people
accept an unsatisfactory job with a heavy workload or a boring job
instead
of job-hopping.
Because
the do
not want to renounce various perks
namely
sick
leave
, a generous retirement package or yearly bonuses. And they feel
hard
to adapt to a new workplace.
Moreover
, this type of
people
usually
gains
hugely
financial burdens as bank debt or monthly expenditure on their children.

On the other hand
, it is needless to say that lots of optimistic
people
who always expand their abilities and never give up.
Therefore
, their attempts not
only
help
them progress their living conditions
but
also
improve
their mental health. More
specifically
, the working environment or low financial status is the most popular reason for depression and
stress
in the youth.
Hence
, enhancing the
negative
situation would
reduce
the number of mental health disorders, including depression, personality disorders, psychotic disorders.

In conclusion
, though others suggest that it is best to stand a deficient situation, I
think
that
people
should
improve
every state, whether job or living-related or
otherwise
to provide themselves with a greater sense of
fulfilment
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 137 v. 61

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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