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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v. 136 v.60

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 136 v. 60
It is common that the vast majority of people have to face with some hard circumstances. Although, accepting bad situations may be applied in some cases, I believe that it is better to recover bad situations which I will explain in this essay. On the one hand, there are two main privileges of improved bad situations. The first one is to encourage people to be patient and figure out how to solve the problem. It is the best way to challenge themselves passing through the tough time. If they succeed, they will look back and proud of themselves. In addition, it might be one of the memorable experience of their entire lives. While, if it fail, they will also proud because they fully try it. It is certainly better than doing nothing. For instance, when children fail the examination, if they try to read harder, someday they will pass it and proud of themselves. Another benefits is people may find something good in their tough time. For example, when they are in trouble, they will get help or support from their family and realize that they have someone who love and care them. On the other hand, I do understand the opposite view. Sometimes, it is hard to fix the unsatisfied situations. The best way is to accept it and this shall be passed. The time may be the answer for some matter such as heartbroken. However, there is a suggestion that it is harmful to sink with your sad emotion which can lead to depression. In fact, there are some ways to fix it such as finding new activities and it would be better to forget the bad situations. In conclusion, there are merits of improving bad situations by approving yourself to face with hard problems. However, admitting bad situation may be proper in some cases.
It is common that the vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
circumstances. Although, accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
may
be applied
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, I believe that it is better to recover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay.

On the one hand, there are two main privileges of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. The
first
one is to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be patient and figure out how to solve the problem. It is the best way to challenge themselves passing through the tough time. If they succeed, they will look back and proud of themselves.
In addition
, it might be one of the memorable experience of their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While, if it
Did you mean "fails"?
fail
, they will
also
proud
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
fully
try it. It is
certainly
better than doing nothing.
For instance
, when children fail the examination, if they try to read harder, someday they will pass it and proud of themselves. Another benefits
You should probably use: "are".
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may find something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in their tough time.
For example
, when they are in trouble, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or support from their family and realize that they have someone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care them.

On the other hand
, I do understand the opposite view.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the unsatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. The best way is to accept it and this shall
be passed
. The time may be the answer for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
matter such as heartbroken.
However
, there is a suggestion that it is harmful to sink with your sad emotion which can lead to depression. In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it such as finding new activities and it would be better to forget the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
situations.

In conclusion
, there are merits of improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
by approving yourself to face with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
problems.
However
, admitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
may be proper in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 136 v. 60

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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