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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 135 v.59

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations v. 135 v. 59
Some people believe that the easy way is adapt a bad situation, another says that it is a better way to try enhance at the same position. Both view points will be discussed in the rest of this essay. firstly, these days, many people in the around of the world engaged in difficult and hard situations in their working and also their activity such as incoming, children studying, diseases, jobs and a variety of different things. As well as, some of them have been struggling with many unusual issues, so that, in some of the world, people have fought to domestic any problems, for example, in Africa, where countries have been struggling with the flow of the political and indigenous people problems, they cannot focus well to improve their satisfactory job, because of the fact that they have no choice for gaining money thus they should be accepting hard and tough conditions for living. In fact, they preserve the bad situations. secondly, in the other hand, there is a completely opinion that all of us are parallel to others, in fact, it has been had thousands of opportunities around of us, although the life is weird, everyone can increase on circumstance, additionally, one of the most important things and ways in activity is try the best for success, for instance, in the newly research by KlM university shows that 66% of children who come from poor family could successful in adulthood, indeed, poverty is not against of catching the new life, new discovery, actually, we do not have select own family or country but we always can boost of self-confidence with hope. Not only our wish and motivation is important, but also it will be changing the chances. Finally, some reason that it adopt to accept a bad condition, such as a vocation or less incoming, other vision that it is better to have a wish and try to be perfect. In my view, life is easy whenever doing your best, actually, I strongly agree with trying and improving in any conditions because nobody knows that what occur in the future. I recommended that we always shall the great of the work and never give up, I hope that the persons in the global never exit from targets to fortunate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the easy way is
Consider using a past participle here: "adapted".
adapt
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation, another says that it is a better way to
Probably a preposition is missing after 'try'.
try enhance
at the same position. Both view points will
be discussed
in the rest of this essay.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
The phrase 'the around of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the around of
the world engaged in difficult and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situations in their working and
also
their activity such as incoming, children studying, diseases, jobs and a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things.
As well
as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have been struggling with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unusual issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have fought to domestic any problems,
for example
, in Africa, where countries have been struggling with the flow of the political and indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
problems, they cannot focus well to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their satisfactory job,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
they have no choice for gaining money
thus
they should be accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and tough conditions for living. In fact, they preserve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, in the other hand, there is a
You used an adverb ('completely') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('opinion') instead of another adjective.
completely opinion
that all of us are parallel to others, in fact, it has
been had
thousands of opportunities around of us, although the life is weird, everyone can increase on circumstance,
additionally
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things and ways in activity is try the best for success,
for instance
, in the
newly
research by
Possible spelling mistake found.
KlM
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 66% of children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poor family could successful in adulthood,
indeed
, poverty is not against of catching the new life, new discovery, actually, we do not have select
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family or country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we always can boost of self-confidence with hope. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
our wish and motivation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will be changing the chances.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason that it
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
condition, such as a vocation or less incoming, other vision that it is better to have a wish and try to be perfect. In my view, life is easy whenever doing your best, actually, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with trying and improving in any conditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nobody knows that what occur in the future. I recommended that we always shall the great of the work and never give up, I hope that the persons in the global never exit from targets to fortunate.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations v. 135 v. 59

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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