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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these view and give your own opinion. v. 134 v.58

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations v. 134 v. 58
It is clear that our life always consists of many problems and bad things. While some people believe that those things can be acceptable, other argue that actions must be taken to raise such circumstances. I tend to agree with the latter argument and in this essay I will discuss both sides of the topic. On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that permission for awful situation is all for the best. This is because they may assert that people do not have a right to choose their life conditions or some think that lack of money leads to inconvenient studying, therefore having a good job become hard. From my perspective, agreement bad conditions help people becoming happy and optimistic, due to the comparisons their positions with the others are not appeared. To take one example, a miserable person can also live in happiness if he does not think of the rich. In spite of these arguments, I believe that people should try their best to improve their unlucky cases. In my opinion, any challenge people encounter is a chance to develop their abilities. Instead of avoiding thoughts about better things, people can try to enhance their conditions, by doing that they will learn a lot of things. To illustrate, if a tough problem is solved, it will give us the experience for the next time. In conclusion, although acceptance the poor situation makes people feel easy to live, I personally encourage the endeavour to raise them.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that our life always consists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that those things can be acceptable, other argue that actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to raise such circumstances. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter argument and in this essay I will discuss both sides of the topic.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that permission for awful situation is all for the best. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have a right to choose their life conditions or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that lack of money leads to inconvenient studying,
therefore
having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. From my perspective, agreement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
becoming happy and optimistic, due to the comparisons their positions with the others are not appeared. To take one example, a miserable person can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in happiness if he does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the rich.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these arguments, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their unlucky cases. In my opinion, any challenge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encounter is a chance to develop their abilities.
Instead
of avoiding thoughts about better things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can try to enhance their conditions, by doing that they will learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things. To illustrate, if a tough problem
is solved
, it will give us the experience for the
next
time.

In conclusion
, although acceptance the poor situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, I
personally
encourage the
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to raise them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations v. 134 v. 58

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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