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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v. 100 v.55

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 100 v. 55
People have different attitudes toward a bad situation. While it has some benefits to accept such a bad condition, I believe trying to improve the situation is better. There are various reasons why some people choose to accept the situation, which they not prefer. First, some situation cannot be changed. For example, I remember when my grandmother passed away, I could not recover from the negative emotion, the only way to fix it is to accept the fact. Second, people who refuse to accept, may need to face numbers of risks. Third, the damages they get physically and mentally will be much bigger than the previous, if they try to shift the situation but failed. Although it is dangerous to improve the status, the merits outweighs the drawbacks. Initially, the emotion and feeling of those peoples successes to improve would be extremely nice, compared with people who accept it. Next, by trying to improve, they can find some knowledge they did not know before. For instance, people who lost all his money will know the difficulty of making money, and significance of money, if they try to improve. At last, those successful people can get a sense of achievement, which might motivate them in the future. In conclusion, although people are beneficial to accept the bad situation sometimes, it is better to try to get out of the bad condition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes toward a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. While it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
condition, I believe trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is better.

There are various reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, which they not prefer.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
For example
, I remember when my grandmother passed away, I could not recover from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the fact. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who refuse to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
, may need to face numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. Third, the damages they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
physically
and mentally will be much bigger than the previous, if they try to shift the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
failed.

Although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the status, the merits outweighs the drawbacks.
Initially
, the emotion and feeling of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
successes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
would be
extremely
nice, compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
it.
Next
, by trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
, they can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge they did not know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who lost all his money will know the difficulty of making money, and significance of money, if they try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
. At last, those successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a sense of achievement, which might motivate them in the future.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, it is better to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
condition.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 100 v. 55

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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