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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.52

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 52
Situations good or bad arise out of luck and destiny to an individual, however how people handle the situation helps conditions get better or worse. While some people believe that is rather easier to accept a bad phase in human-life, such as an unfulfilling job or financial crisis, others challenge that one can try to improvise such conditions. This essay will discuss both perspectives and throw light on how challenging the current scenario might revolutionize the character's lifestyle forever. During the bad times of human existence, quite some people calm the individual down by asking him to be submissive to the transition that has occurred in his lifespan. This is because communities in general have a tendency to relax a human down to reduce the shock of the man who is in deep pain. For example, a recent survey depicts that soothing a man down who has undergone a heartbreaking news, significantly reduces the stress of the body by 50%. Also, the societies try to convince that this is the man's fate and so he has to succumb to it willingly. For example, astrologers mention that the stars in the specific individual aren't in the right position due to which he goes through the worst patches, which is beyond his control. Therefore many older generation people think it is better to get accustomed to the existing position that the destiny has provided them. On the other hand, there are people who challenge such belief systems and think they can transform their present environment. Such individuals believe they have their personal strength to combat the situation in hand and rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Let's take the case of Mahatma Gandhi, who, despite his age and personality, took the courage to not just be a nation's spokesperson but also a freedom fighter who won India's independence. Also, figures like these, dream a lot and strive to achieve them. Another lesson to learn from is that of Mr. Dhirubhai Ambani who dreamt to be a successful entrepreneur and started his journey to make money from selling boxes. Today he owns the maximum businesses in the country and abroad. This proves that a character who challenges the stereotypical belief systems, can reverse the entire scenario. To conclude, its situation that can make or break an individual and from where he wishes to commence this journey of a new beginning. Though some believe that acceptance of their fate is a bliss to move forward, it is evident that those who look at the way forward positively are the one's who progress ahead. In my opinion, I strongly support individuals who chase their dreams and live beyond what life offers them as they become the inspiration for others around them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Situations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
arise out of luck and destiny to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
,
however
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
conditions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better or worse. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
that is
rather
easier to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
phase in human-life, such as an unfulfilling job or financial crisis, others challenge that one can try to improvise such conditions. This essay will discuss both perspectives and throw light on how challenging the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario might revolutionize the character's lifestyle forever.

During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
times of human existence, quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
calm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
down by asking him to be submissive to the transition that has occurred in his lifespan. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
communities
in general
have a tendency to relax a human down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the shock of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is in deep pain.
For example
, a recent survey depicts that soothing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has undergone a heartbreaking news,
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of the body by 50%.
Also
, the societies try to convince that this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
succumb to it
willingly
.
For example
, astrologers mention that the stars in the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
aren't in the right position due to which he goes through the worst patches, which is beyond his control.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
older generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to the existing position that the destiny has provided them.

On the other hand
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
challenge such belief systems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they can transform their present environment. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
believe they have their personal strength to combat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in hand and rise from the ashes like a phoenix.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take the case of Mahatma Gandhi,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
, despite his age and personality, took the courage to not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be a nation's spokesperson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a freedom fighter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
won India's independence.
Also
, figures like these,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "dreams".
dream
a lot and strive to achieve them. Another lesson to learn from is that of Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhirubhai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
dreamt to be a successful entrepreneur and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his journey to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money from selling boxes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
the maximum businesses in the country and abroad. This proves that a character
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
challenges the stereotypical belief systems, can reverse the entire scenario.

To conclude
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
or break an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and from where he wishes to commence this journey of a new beginning. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that acceptance of their fate is a bliss to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward, it is evident that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
look at the way forward
positively
are the one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
progress ahead. In my opinion, I
strongly
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
chase their dreams and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
beyond what life offers them as they become the inspiration for others around them.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 52

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
457 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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