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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.49

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 49
Some people believe that it is the best option to accept bad situations, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others say that improve those situations will be a better option. I believe that it could happen, which some situations we cannot deal with. It might happen in family issues or a health problem. Some people choose to accept an unsatisfactory job or salary that is because of uncontrollable situations. But the opponent would say that there are no circumstances we cannot deal with. They might say that we especially need to take action in those situations. If we do not move, it will never go to change. I personally believe that there is always a choice we can take. It might not easy to solve it, but that is why we need to step up. I want to bring my personal experience. I wanted to go to Canada, but I was not able to save any money because of family issues. I almost accepted my situation and gave up. One day, I talked to my friend about my situation and she delivered it to her parents. Ended up getting help from them in a financial way. Sometimes, We are frustrated by the bad situation, but if we don't believe that we can not through that, we are never going to make it better. We might need to ask others for help or could feel more frustrated, but It is the right way to step out of the comfort zone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is the best option to accept
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
will be a better option.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it could happen, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
we cannot deal with. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
happen in family issues or a health problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to accept an unsatisfactory job or salary
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of uncontrollable situations.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the opponent would say that there are no circumstances we cannot deal with. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
say that we
especially
need to take action in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. If we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
, it will never go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there is always a choice we can take. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not easy to solve it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is
why we need to step up. I want to bring my personal experience.

I wanted to go to Canada,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was not able to save any money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of family issues.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
almost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and gave up. One day, I talked to my friend about my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
she delivered it to her parents. Ended up getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from them
Consider replacing "in a financial way" with the adverb for "financial"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a financial way
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, We
are frustrated
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that we can not through that, we are never going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it better. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
need to ask others for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or could feel more frustrated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It is the right way to step out of the comfort zone.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 49

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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