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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is best to try and improve such situations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.36

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is best to try and improve such situations. v. 36
Many people find themselves in life situations where they have to accept it whether it’s harsh or bright. Some argue it is best to improve such circumstances by working hard. In my view every negative situation experienced in person’s life should include an opportunity to better off such terrible conditions. First and foremost, the main reason for this thought is prejudiced belief which is deeply affected by religious belief system. In other words, there is concept in religions that everything happens for a greater reason, and altering it would be against fate. For example, a research carried out by an author Thomas Dallas in Washington Post found that about 70% of people who accepted nasty treatment either from their fellow colleagues or students were religious believers that preached higher being called fate. On the other hand, there are plethora arguments to claim that accepting of current or bad situations would help people to avoid negative emotions. For example, when a person tries to find another job, there is no guarantee that a new job can offer them satisfaction. Moreover, in a serious scenario, such as wars or severe economic downturns, it could be hazardous and virtually impossible for an individual to change the situation. In conclusion, it is dangerous to make changes in quite few situations, but however in the vast majority of cases striving to improve bad situations can bring huge success, but also helps people to identify their potential and live their life in a more meaningful way. Therefore, I believe it is a rational approach to change unhappy situations by continued effort.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find themselves in life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
where they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept it whether it’s harsh or bright.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue it is best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such circumstances by working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. In my view every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
experienced in person’s life should include an opportunity to better off such terrible conditions.

First
and foremost, the main reason for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is prejudiced
belief which is
deeply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by religious belief system.
In other words
, there is concept in religions that everything happens for a greater reason, and altering it would be against fate.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
carried out by an author Thomas Dallas in Washington Post found that about 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
nasty treatment either from their
Consider using "colleagues".
fellow colleagues
or students were religious believers that preached higher
being called
fate.

On the other hand
, there are plethora arguments to claim that accepting of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions.
For example
, when a person tries to find another job, there is no guarantee that a new job can offer them satisfaction.
Moreover
, in a serious scenario, such as wars or severe economic downturns, it could be hazardous and
virtually
impossible for an individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the situation.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in quite few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
however
in the vast majority of cases striving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
can bring huge success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to identify their potential and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life in a more meaningful way.
Therefore
, I believe it is a rational approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
unhappy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
by continued effort.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is best to try and improve such situations. v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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