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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.33

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 33
It is believed by some that it is ideal to welcome an unfavourable circumstance like an inferior job or dearth of money, while others think that it is more desirable to strive to enhance one’s life. In my opinion, the latter point of view is more positive. This essay will discuss each of these perspectives and will finally conclude with my opinion. Nowadays, the economies of most countries are deteriorating and unemployment is rising. At the same time, many employees are laid off as part of cost-cutting measures by businesses. Governments are selling out public sector institutions to pay off debts. In this scenario, fresh graduates find it difficult to secure jobs related to their career. Also, they get mostly underpaid jobs. The pessimistic idea of accepting this horrible situation will hinder progress as there are many similar instances in history. For example, the post-war situation of countries like Germany, Japan and South Korea was pathetic. If the people of these countries just accepted their fate and focused on their own survival, the list of strong countries would have been different. On the contrary, the abovementioned countries had an unbelievable recovery from a great disaster due to the determination and will power of their hardworking citizens. Even today, workers in Japan have less social life as their priority is the overall prosperity of their workplace. Hence, businesses can generate more revenue and pay taxes so that the country’s economy grows. By not accepting its situation, Japan was able to become a leader in technology through notable companies like Sony, Honda, Toyota, and so on. In conclusion, there is an ongoing debate relating to facing a negative situation in life. In my view, even though accepting a bad happening soothes minds, doing hard work to get a better life is crucial for success.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is ideal to welcome an
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
circumstance like an inferior job or dearth of money, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more desirable to strive to enhance one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, the latter point of view is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. This essay will discuss each of these perspectives and will
finally
conclude with my opinion.

Nowadays, the economies of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are deteriorating and unemployment is rising. At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees
are laid
off as part of cost-cutting measures by businesses.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
are selling out public sector institutions to pay off debts. In this scenario, fresh graduates find it difficult to secure jobs related to their career.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mostly
underpaid jobs. The pessimistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of accepting this horrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
will hinder progress as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
similar instances in history.
For example
, the post-war
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Germany, Japan and South Korea was pathetic. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
their fate and focused on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
survival, the list of strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

On the contrary
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
abovementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
had an unbelievable recovery from a great disaster due to the determination and will power of their hardworking citizens. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, workers in Japan have less social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as their priority is the
overall
prosperity of their workplace.
Hence
, businesses can generate more revenue and pay taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy grows. By not accepting its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, Japan was able to become a leader in technology through notable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Sony, Honda, Toyota, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
, there is an ongoing debate relating to facing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my view,
even though
accepting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
happening soothes minds, doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is crucial for success.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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