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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.28

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 28
Nowadays, people choose their jobs according to their comfort, while some choose according to salary. It is true that some people accept bad situation because of their comfort, while others think that it is better to improve this situation. According to my viewpoint, I totally agree with second situation. Firstly, there are many human beings who are working in a company with lower salaries and also not satisfied with their job because they are working in different departments in which they did not have interests. For example, there are many graduated students who find companies to work and fulfil their needs, whether their companies are provide satisfied position or not. On the other hand, there are many people who are happy with their unsatisfactory job because of their comfort and fixed salary. For example, there are many people who are working in the small organisation which they did not feel any pressure. Secondly, some people think that it is better to improve bad situations. There are many graduated students who find their jobs after graduation in different department because they find comfortable, but they have to find their job in the same department, so that they are happy with their position and performed very well. For example, a person who completed their graduation in the computer field and also find their job in the computer field, so they are fully satisfied with their job. To conclude, there are many people who believe that it is better to accept a bad situation because of their comfort, but according to my viewpoint, it is better to improve such things like find job in your own field so that you are fully satisfied and perform very well.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to salary. It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accept
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
According
to my viewpoint, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with second situation.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
human beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with lower salaries and
also
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
departments in which they did not have interests.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduated students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to work and fulfil their needs, whether their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
position or not.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are happy with their unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
salary.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
which they did not feel any pressure.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduated students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
after graduation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
department
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
comfortable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the same department,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are happy with their position and performed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
For example
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
completed their graduation in the computer field and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the computer field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with their job.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to my viewpoint, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such things like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you are
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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