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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to improve such situations Discuss both views and give your opinion v.23

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to improve such situations 23
Many people consider that the best way to continuing of unsatisfactory job or less earn money is acceptance of conventional condition, while others think that improving the undesired situation is better than one. Both view arguments will be discussed in the rest of this essay. On one hand, the vast majority of people can't impressively change their situation and acceptance of this fact will make them feel satisfied with their lives. According to a recent report from Oxford university, for persons that are living in a country at war or in poor economic conditions, it is best to accept their situation. To give an example, it is illogical and unreasonable that the Syrian people always find the best way to improve quality of their lives. Insted, such persons maybe should accept that, they cannot change all awful circumstances at this moment and just focus on their own survival and their family. On the other hand, the persons are living in the developing countries, work hardly to improve their living shape. To show an example, Japoniness after the world war two did not convince the bad circumstance and attempted to change this state and as a result Japon became one of the developing countries. The technological and electrical companies such as a Nokia, Sony and Toshiba grew rapidly and because of the fact that Japon is able to become the leader of technology in the world. In conclusion, the essay supports both idea that person based on their situation can accept the bad sate to feel well and may have not enough satisfaction and attempt hardly to improve their sate. To my way of thinking people should know what their definition of ideal life based on surrounding condition is, respectly make their best attempt to reach it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to continuing of unsatisfactory job or less earn money is acceptance of conventional condition, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that improving the undesired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is better than one. Both view arguments will
be discussed
in the rest of this essay.

On one hand, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can't
impressively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and acceptance of this fact will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. According to a recent report from Oxford university, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
that are living in a country at war or in poor economic conditions, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
to accept their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. To give an example, it is illogical and unreasonable that the Syrian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Insted
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
maybe should accept that, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
all awful circumstances at this moment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
survival and their family.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
are living in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'work'.
work hardly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living shape. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an example,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japoniness
after the world war two did not convince the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
circumstance and attempted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this state and
as a result
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japon
became one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. The technological and electrical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as a Nokia, Sony and Toshiba grew
rapidly
and
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japon
is able to become the leader of technology in the world.

In conclusion
, the essay supports both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
can accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Did you mean "state"?
sate
to feel well and may have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
satisfaction and attempt hardly to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their sate. To my way of thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know what their definition of ideal life based on surrounding condition is,
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
attempt to reach it.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to improve such situations 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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