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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v.21

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 21
Thinking ability varies to person by person in this world. Some person can bear all negative situations and face with confidence. No any person can predict about the future. As a human, we have to anticipate and planning for the upcoming circumstances. But, person has to afford unpredictable conditions such as losing a career, become destitute or unhealthy life. I consider, people should acknowledge about these kinds of incidents and admit with the current conditions. For instance, when we have an unacceptable career, we do not need to impair our mentality. According to my view, we have to impress our thoughts with optimistic ideas. Also, some people have not any opportunity find works; therefore, we can satisfy with our path. Moreover, money is a temporary and we can find money in many ways. On the other hand, when we spend with changeable circumstance, it may assist us to enhance our quality and skills. As consequences, our mind may ready to embark any challenges and upbringing with experiences. Therefore, we matured with optimistic and pessimistic, both and it will help to build an outstanding life. The elders always carry their life with practices, according to they faced negative and positive outcomes in the past. Therefore, we have to remember, we can find alternative methods for any conditions. To sum up, we have a life with optimistic and pessimistic environments. Therefore, we have to concern about every condition with a strong mind. Person who leads with challenges can live with satisfactory. The human does not need to give up in any occurrences, and every time they need to accomplish their abilities. As well, people have to work with avid and try to avoid hassle thoughts.
Thinking ability varies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in this world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can bear all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
situations and face with confidence.
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
No
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can predict about the future. As a human, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
anticipate and planning for the upcoming circumstances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
afford unpredictable conditions such as losing a career, become destitute or unhealthy life.

I consider,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should acknowledge about these kinds of incidents and admit with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
conditions.
For instance
, when we have an unacceptable career, we do not need to impair our mentality. According to my view, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
impress our thoughts with optimistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have not any opportunity find works;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
, we can satisfy with our path.
Moreover
, money is a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
temporary and
we can find money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

On the other hand
, when we spend with changeable circumstance, it may assist us to enhance our quality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. As consequences, our mind may ready to embark any challenges and upbringing with experiences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, we matured with optimistic and pessimistic, both and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build an outstanding life. The elders always carry their life with practices, according to they faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes in the past.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
remember, we can find alternative methods for any conditions.

To sum up, we have a life with optimistic and pessimistic environments.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concern about every condition with a strong mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Person
who leads with challenges can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with satisfactory. The human does not need to give up in any occurrences, and every time they need to accomplish their abilities.
As well
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work with avid and try to avoid hassle thoughts.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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