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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.19

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 19
While many people are of the opinion that humans should admit a difficult circumstance, for example, an unpleasant job or lack of money, another view shared by others is that people should endeavor to improve these situations. From my own perspective, it is my opinion that we ought to make an attempt to become better and overcome difficulties. On the one hand, people have reasons to think that accepting a harsh condition is good. Employees might have limited capabilities such as they are untrained and low-skilled or have health problems. Therefore, these people may agree to take the jobs which have no requirement of using strength and knowledge such as manual works; and these works, of course, could help them earn a lot of money as people wish to cover their everyday needs. At the same time, the job could have no labor protection equipment or labor insurance which would guarantee their health and safety. On the other hand, I still concur with the idea that we need to strive for improving such contexts. The initial rationale is that make an endeavor to develop our own situations could improve the quality and open up a new chapter in our lives. For instance, my uncle who had only two chickens at the beginning made his best effort to raise them, and gradually these two chickens have reproduced and developed into a farm with hundreds of chickens; and he got rich, therefore, by trying his best to develop his farm rather than giving up and accepting a poor life. In addition to this, struggling to become better would increase our position and status in society is another explanation of this belief. This is due to the fact that people tend to respect those who do not accept their own destiny and make much progress in their lives. In conclusion, although people side with the notion that resigning themselves to a severe situation is a good action, my personal view would still be that humans should endeavor to get better in their lives for the aforementioned points.
While
many
people
are of the opinion that humans should admit a difficult circumstance,
for example
, an unpleasant job or lack of money, another view shared by others is that
people
should endeavor to
improve
these situations. From my
own
perspective, it is my opinion that we ought to
make
an attempt to become better and overcome difficulties.

On the one hand,
people
have reasons to
think
that accepting a harsh condition is
good
. Employees might have limited capabilities such as they
are untrained
and low-skilled or have health problems.
Therefore
, these
people
may
agree
to take the jobs which have no requirement of using strength and knowledge such as manual works; and these works,
of course
, could
help
them earn
a lot of
money as
people
wish to cover their everyday needs. At the same time, the job could have no labor protection equipment or labor insurance which would guarantee their health and safety.

On the other hand
, I
still
concur with the
idea
that we need to strive for improving such contexts. The initial rationale is that
make
an endeavor to develop our
own
situations could
improve
the quality and open up a new chapter in our
lives
.
For instance
, my uncle who had
only
two chickens at the beginning made his best effort to raise them, and
gradually
these two chickens have reproduced and developed into a farm with hundreds of chickens; and he
got
rich,
therefore
, by trying his best to develop his farm
rather
than giving up and accepting a poor life.
In addition
to this, struggling to become better would increase our position and status in society is another explanation of this belief.
This is due to the fact that
people
tend to respect those who do not accept their
own
destiny and
make
much progress in their
lives
.

In conclusion
, although
people
side with the notion that resigning themselves to a severe situation is a
good
action, my personal view would
still
be that humans should endeavor to
get
better in their
lives
for the aforementioned points.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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