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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.18

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 18
People have different opinions on whether to accept unfavourable circumstances or put in efforts to change these. While accepting any bad situation lessen the pain associated with it, I believe that humans are capable to overcome every type of problem. There are some who consider that acceptance of bad situations is better because it lowers the suffering caused by these. If people who mentally sufferes accept these uncontrolled circumstances would be in emotionally- inert state, which alleviate their pain up to a certain extent. Citizen’s of a war-affecting country Syria, for example, are helpless to control the war, hence, reacting to this particular situation would only exacerbate their suffering. Thus, mental trauma can be avoided in certain cases, when people choose to accept harsh times in their life instead of reacting to them. On the other hand, I agree with those who believe that unfavourable conditions can be changed with will and determination. As humans have the potential to change any circumstance, it is always better to try with a positive attitude rather than attaining a passive approach. Paralympic games, where physically disabled athletes compete, are the best illustration of humans’ ability, and shows that regardless of challenges in life, anything is achievable with a positive outlook. In the same manner, hard phases such as financial breakdowns or unstable careers are parts of our life and can be changed with efforts. In conclusion, although there are some potential upsides of accepting bad situations, I believe that trying is always the best answer because these can be changed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on whether to accept
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
circumstances or put in efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
these. While accepting any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
lessen the pain associated with it, I believe that humans are capable to overcome every type of problem.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who consider that acceptance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
is better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it lowers the suffering caused by these. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who mentally
Possible spelling mistake found.
sufferes
accept these uncontrolled circumstances would be in
emotionally
- inert state, which alleviate their pain up to a certain extent. Citizen’s of a war-affecting country Syria,
for example
, are helpless to control the war,
hence
, reacting to this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exacerbate their suffering.
Thus
, mental trauma can
be avoided
in certain cases, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to accept harsh times in their life
instead
of reacting to them.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
conditions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with will and determination. As humans have the potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
any circumstance, it is always better to try with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude
rather
than attaining a passive approach. Paralympic games, where
physically
disabled athletes compete, are the best illustration of humans’ ability, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that regardless of challenges in life, anything is achievable with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outlook. In the same manner,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
phases such as financial breakdowns or unstable careers are parts of our life and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with efforts.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential upsides of accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, I believe that trying is always the best answer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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