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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 15
Undoubtedly, these days, the bad circumstances are happening extremely. It is often argued that either people have to accept the bad situations or must try to change these conditions. I fully agree with this fact that although accepting bad situations is pragmatic in most positions, it is better for people to try to improve their bad conditions. In turn, this essay will discuss the both views of this opinion. On the one hand, the more economic condition of a country become ruined, the more people have to accept to live in tough situations. That is to say that the vast majority of people are unable to alter their bad situations, thus the acceptance of this fact will make them feel more satisfied. When people are placed in this situation, they prefer not to deal with this position. For instance, the Democratic Republic of Congo is a great case of this fact. This country was involved in several wars for many years and had a severe economic downturn. Recent research introduced this country as the poorest country over the world. It is extremely unfair to suggest people, who live in this country to improve their situations because none of the infrastructures in this country are accessible for people to improve their circumstances. In my opinion, alteration of these situations is extremely tough but possible. To sum up, for the majority of people, who are placed in these situations, effort alone cannot alter unfavorable positions almost always, but endeavour must be considered as an inseparable part of human life. On the other hand, the more people try to better their lives, the sooner and better results can happen. Some people declare that even in the most unfavorable situations, people can make their lives better via continued effort. Hence, instances of people, who worked hard and became successful abound in both developed and developing nations. For example, in 6 decades ago and after the Second World War, most countries involved in this devastating world war such as Germany, France, The United States of America and Russia had an economic bankrupt. Postwar situations for these countries was extremely difficult, but endeavour was the inseparable part of the humans' lives in these countries. After six decades of endless trying, the economic condition of these societies thrived as the United States of America and Germany these days have the best economic conditions over the world and Europe, respectively. I believe that endeavour is unimaginable able to defeat bad situations. To take something into consideration, the power of attempt has to be considered and not to be ignored. Some people are of the opinion that people have to accept their hard situations, while others are opposed to this view. I am sure that that humans have not to be defeated in hard situations.
Undoubtedly
, these days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
circumstances are happening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extremely
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
these conditions. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact that although accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
is pragmatic in most positions, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
conditions. In turn, this essay will discuss the both views of this opinion.

On the one hand, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
become ruined, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
That is
to say that the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to alter their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
,
thus
the acceptance of this fact will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel more satisfied. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are placed
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, they prefer not to deal with this position.
For instance
, the Democratic Republic of Congo is a great case of this fact. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
was involved
in several wars for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and had a severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
downturn. Recent research introduced this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as the poorest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extremely
unfair to suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
none of the infrastructures in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are accessible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their circumstances. In my opinion, alteration of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extremely
tough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
possible. To sum up, for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
are placed
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, effort alone cannot alter unfavorable positions almost always,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as an inseparable part of human life.

On the other hand
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, the sooner and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
results can happen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
declare that even in the most unfavorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
via continued effort.
Hence
, instances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and became successful abound in both developed and developing nations.
For example
, in 6 decades ago and after the Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved in this devastating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
war such as Germany, France, The United States of America and Russia had an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
bankrupt. Postwar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extremely
difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
was the inseparable part of the humans'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. After six decades of endless trying, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
of these societies thrived as the United States of America and Germany these days have the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
conditions over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and Europe,
respectively
. I believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
is unimaginable able to defeat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. To take something into consideration, the power of attempt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be considered
and not to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, while others
are opposed
to this view. I am sure that that humans have not to
be defeated
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
66Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
466 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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