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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.13

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 13
There are several views regarding the acceptance of low income with own interest of work or high salary with uninterested work. While several people suggest that one has to make a choice between own passion for the work and expectation of salary, other suggest it can be solved with the hard work. I completely agree with the latter thought. First of all, those who believes, it is a good idea to make a compromise between interest and income, are more likely to fall into different health, professional and financial related issues. In other words, dislike in job role or low componsate makes people more depressed, anxieted and lack of focused on their work. This results in job suspension or permanent health problem which causes lots of money. However, I argue that people’s enjoyment for work duties and the reward should not be compromised, and if it is happening, they should find out new opportunity where they can get both of this at single place. By doing so, they are feeling satisfied from the work environment. This results in a number of advantages. Firstly, it improves people’s lifestyle where they can spend enough money from earning. Secondly, it ehance their confidence level to get their work done on time. Finally, it increases happiness and more focused on the job. Eventually, people can accomplish huge success in their personal and professional life. In conclusion, whereas it takes great effort to challenge and try new thing to achieve both the job satisfaction and the pay at the same place, personally I feel, it is better to try it out instead of accepting the bad situation.
There are several views regarding the acceptance of low income with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or high salary with uninterested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. While several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
passion for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and expectation of salary, other suggest it can
be solved
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, those who believes, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a compromise between interest and income, are more likely to fall into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health, professional and financial related issues.
In other words
, dislike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
role or low
Possible spelling mistake found.
componsate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more depressed,
Possible spelling mistake found.
anxieted
and lack of focused on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
suspension or permanent health problem which causes lots of money.

However
, I argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
enjoyment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
duties and the reward should not
be compromised
, and if it is happening, they should find out new opportunity where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
both of this at single place. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they are feeling satisfied from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment. This results in a number of advantages.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle where they can spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money from earning.
Secondly
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
ehance
their confidence level to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done on time.
Finally
, it increases happiness and more focused on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can accomplish huge success in their personal and professional life.

In conclusion
, whereas it takes great effort to challenge and try new thing to achieve both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction and the pay at the same place,
personally
I feel, it is better to try it out
instead
of accepting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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