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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.12

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. 12
While many people are willing to live with unfavorable conditions, others insist on tacking chances and try to have a better life. Accepting unfortunate situations may help people feel less powerless, but their lives are unlikely to become better. Taking actions to improve these situations, however, can help people increase their chances of success. On the one hand, some people are contented with their unfortunate situations. This means that although they are fully aware of the unfavorable condition, they do not attempt to improve that. This can make them feel happier with their life. One disadvantage of this is that it is almost impossible to have a better life. For example, when a poor person is not taking any action, such as working harder, invest in something, to try to improve his or her financial condition. Unless this person wins a lottery ticket, he or she is not likely to become wealthy. On the other hand, many people assert that it is better to try and improve such situations. For instance, a man that does not satisfy with his salary can ask for a raise or find a new job with more adequate benefits. In this case, when people try and fail, it can be quite frustrating. However, they have more chance of success. In my opinion, people should always try to improve their unfavorable conditions. In conclusion, accepting bad situations may help people feel less powerless, but taking actions to improve such situations give them more chances of success.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with unfavorable conditions, others insist on tacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
and try to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life. Accepting unfortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel less powerless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are unlikely to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Taking actions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
,
however
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of success.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are contented
with their unfortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. This means that although they are
fully
aware of the unfavorable condition, they do not attempt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
that. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel happier with their life. One disadvantage of this is that it is almost impossible to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life.
For example
, when a poor person is not taking any action, such as working harder, invest in something, to try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
financial condition. Unless this person wins a lottery ticket, he or she is not likely to become wealthy.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
that does not satisfy with his salary can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a raise or find a new job with more adequate benefits.
In this case
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
fail, it can be quite frustrating.
However
, they have more chance of success.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should always try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their unfavorable conditions.

In conclusion
, accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel less powerless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
taking actions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
give them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of success.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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