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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.11

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 11
Part of society claims that learning to live with unhappy circumstances is the best for most people. In contrast, the opposite side agrees that individuals should work hard to transform their unpleasant reality. From my perspective, each person must have the willingness to enhance their lives. On the one hand, it is argued that personal unsatisfaction might affect someone's mental health, due to the constant frustation with day-to-day problems, which leads to further issues that would not be there if people had a positive mindset. For instance, if someone is frustated at their career, this individual's mood could increase the risks of depression as well as anxiety, in general. Additionally, keeping a positive behaviour at unpleasant situations may improve quality of life, because it is easier to find the solutions when you are stress free, as a consequence, the improvement in life can be from doing nothing. Conversely, there is an argument that the most efficient form of changing a circumstance is working hard for it, since people's actions are as powerful as outside factors, as a result, the negative reality might be temporary instead of permanent. For example, although Bill Gates was poor during his childhood, he became millionaire at the age of twenty, thanks to his belief that he could transform his future. Furthermore, working to improve a problem is more or less likely useful to solve other issues, as failing in a try might help a person to tackle other problems, consequently improving people's satisfaction. To conclude, in spite of the fact that accepting unsatisfing situations may protect mental health, the power of changing as a result of action. Personally, I do believe that individuals should take responsibility for their future.
Part of society claims that learning to
live
with unhappy circumstances is the best for most
people
.
In contrast
, the opposite side
agrees
that individuals should work
hard
to transform their unpleasant reality. From my perspective, each person
must
have the willingness to enhance their
lives
.

On the one hand, it
is argued
that personal unsatisfaction might affect someone's mental health, due to the constant
frustation
with day-to-day problems, which leads to
further
issues that would not be there if
people
had a
positive
mindset.
For instance
, if someone is
frustated
at their career, this individual's mood could increase the
risks
of depression
as well
as anxiety,
in general
.
Additionally
, keeping a
positive
behaviour
at unpleasant situations may
improve
quality of life,
because
it is easier to find the solutions when you are
stress
free, as a consequence, the improvement in life can be from doing nothing.

Conversely
, there is an argument that the most efficient form of changing a circumstance is working
hard
for it, since
people
's actions are as powerful as outside factors,
as a result
, the
negative
reality might be temporary
instead
of permanent.
For example
, although Bill Gates was poor during his childhood, he became millionaire at the age of twenty, thanks to his belief that he could transform his future.
Furthermore
, working to
improve
a problem is more or less likely useful to solve other issues, as failing in a try might
help
a person to tackle other problems,
consequently
improving
people
's satisfaction.

To conclude
,
in spite of
the fact that accepting
unsatisfing
situations may protect mental health, the power of changing
as a result
of action.
Personally
, I do believe that individuals should take responsibility for their future.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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