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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
Nowadays, job satisfaction has become a controversial issue. Although, there are some people who accept and jobs in term of money, while others believe that it is better to try for more and hoping for best possibilities. In my view, I believe that, for having a better opportunity only lies with keep trying attitude. On the one hand, of discussion, regarding those who accept easily like unsatisfactory job or low wages. In other words, there are some people who do not wait for longtime for having best opportunity because of their financial needs. For example, they need money for their daily expenses and loan repayment. In addition, responsibility towards their family, force them to stick to the uninteresting and monotonous job. Even there are some, who do not want to waste time and efforts. On the other hand, proponents of this argument is that, it is better to work on ourselves by improving skills and wait for better opportunity. Keep trying is always the best approach to find global recognition. For instance, J. K Rowling, an author of Harry Potter series, was rejected about more than 20 times for her book publishing by investors. But, her resisting attitude had not lost hope. Now, she is one of the renown author of the world because of that book. In conclusion, despite some indispensable situations, we cannot ignore the importance of skills, that actually, should be updated with time to time. In my opinion, after getting rid of problems, one should have to go for more. This tendency, brings best out of a person.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction has become a controversial issue. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
accept and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in term of money, while others believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to try for more and hoping for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
possibilities. In my view, I believe that, for having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lies with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
trying attitude.

On the one hand, of discussion, regarding those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
accept
easily
like unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or low wages.
In other words
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not wait for longtime for having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their financial needs.
For example
, they need money for their daily expenses and loan repayment.
In addition
, responsibility towards their family, force them to stick to the uninteresting and monotonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Even there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not want to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and efforts.

On the other hand
, proponents of this argument is that, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to work on ourselves by improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and wait for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
trying is always the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
approach to find global recognition.
For instance
, J. K Rowling, an author of Harry Potter series,
was rejected
about more than 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for her book publishing by investors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, her resisting attitude had not lost hope.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, she is one of the renown author of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that book.

In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
indispensable situations, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, that actually, should
be updated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, after getting rid of problems, one should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go for more. This tendency, brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
out of a person.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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