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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
Dissatisfied jobs and scarcity of money is becoming increasingly common. Some people opine that it is better to accept the situation as it is while others think that such situations can be avoided by the sheer amount of hard work in the same direction to improve them. In this essay, I intend to delve into both views and provide my opinion. There are a plethora of causes behind a dissatisfied job or the money shortage. Firstly, people are not getting the employment in the same field for which they have completed their training, secondly jobs are not as per their qualifications, as recently it has been noticed that for the majority of jobs people are over qualified. Furthermore, doing a work only for meeting day to day expenses without any ambitions will never bring satisfaction. To add further, doing a job without any interest will never results in handsome amount of money, such people always believe that whatsoever is happening to them, it is as per the wish of the god and take less steps towards satisfaction. Situations related to unsatisfactory work or shortage of money can be avoided by taking some steps towards improvements. To begin with, they should understand that no work is small or big, every work is having its own importance and a learning is associated with it that teaches you to perform better. You should be passionate towards the job that you are performing, as it results in more satisfaction and indirectly help in salary hike. To conclude, in my opinion, an employee should show 100% commintment towards the work and continuosly striving for improvements rather than accepting the situation as it is
Dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is becoming
increasingly
common.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that it is better to accept the situation as it is while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that such situations can
be avoided
by the sheer amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same direction to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them. In this essay, I intend to delve into both views and provide my opinion.

There are a plethora of causes behind a dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
shortage.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not getting the employment in the same field for which they have completed their training,
secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are not as per their qualifications, as recently it has
been noticed
that for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are over qualified.
Furthermore
, doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for meeting day to day expenses without any ambitions will never bring satisfaction. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
further
, doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without any interest will never results in handsome amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always believe that whatsoever is happening to them, it is as per the wish of the god and take
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun steps is countable.
less
steps towards satisfaction.

Situations related to unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
be avoided
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps towards improvements. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they should understand that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is having its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance and a learning
is associated
with it that teaches you to perform better. You should be passionate towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that you are performing, as it results in more satisfaction and
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in salary hike.

To conclude
, in my opinion, an employee should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
100%
Possible spelling mistake found.
commintment
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
continuosly
striving for improvements
rather
than accepting the situation as it is
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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