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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unpleasant job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unpleasant job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. v. 1
It is often thought by some that it is better to accept an unpleasant situation, such as an occupation with no satisfaction or even the absence of finance. Others however believe that there are other ways to improve such situations. In my opinion, I consider finding an alternative means of earning money and learning a skill a preferable ways of living a better life. On the one hand, some people have suggested that it is better to accept a bad situation. This is because most times little or nothing can be done to remedy the circumstances. Thus, depression and anxiety is prevented. In other words, ailments resulting from these are averted. Recent research concluded that 85%, of depressed victims are those who lack money to meet their daily needs. Also, in recent times securing a job has often times proven difficult so accepting and staying in a job with no motivation has become the only way to earn a living. On the other hand, others are of the opinion that there are other ways of improving a bad situation and I agree. Firstly, finding other means of making money can alleviate the circumstances. This can be done by either learning a skill or securing an additional means of livelihood. Therefore, an individual will be able to make money to supplement income received. Furthermore, A new occupation can be secured that is of ones personal interest. Thereby leading to contentment and happiness. For instance, an individual who has passion for public speaking can work in an establishment related to mass communication. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I believe that acquiring a skill and working in an environment that is passion driven are better ways of dealing with an unfavorable conditions related to job and lack of money.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to accept an unpleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, such as an occupation with no satisfaction or even the absence of finance. Others
however
believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. In my opinion, I consider finding an alternative means of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and learning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
a preferable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
of living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have suggested that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or nothing can
be done
to remedy the circumstances.
Thus
, depression and anxiety is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, ailments resulting from these
are averted
. Recent research concluded that 85%, of depressed victims are those who lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily needs.
Also
, in recent times securing a job has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
times proven difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
accepting and staying in a job with no motivation has become the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to earn a living.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others are of the opinion that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of improving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can alleviate the circumstances. This can
be done
by either learning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
or securing an additional means of livelihood.
Therefore
, an individual will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to supplement income received.
Furthermore
, A new occupation can
be secured
that is
of ones personal interest. Thereby leading to contentment and happiness.
For instance
, an individual who has passion for public speaking can work in an establishment related to mass communication.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I believe that acquiring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and working in an environment
that is
passion driven are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of dealing with an unfavorable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "condition"?
conditions
related to job and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unpleasant job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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