Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people believe that it is bes to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and imorove such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

some people believe that it is bes to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and imorove such situations. v. 1
There was a lengthy dispute about whether the main problem in the environment is the loss of certain species of plants and animals or something more essential. From my perspective, arguably, the problem in depleting the number of species is as vital as other environmental phenomenons. The argument of approving that extinction of vegetation and animals is the main problem is that it has negative impacts on our fragile earth. As these species disappearing, the biodiversity of the environment will be impeded to some extent by cutting food chains. This also prevents the ecosystem from self-adjusting to the original situation until the environment totally lost the ability to recover. At the same time, this might lead to a disaster in animals, including mammals, fishes or even the human. Furthermore, the decreasing biodiversity will also create an unstable environmental system which might have many drawbacks on human's commercial product such as agriculture and aquaculture. The human stock market is likely to be impacted by firstly, which cause fear among people. Notwithstanding, other problems such as natural hazards, increasing atmosphere temperature and even human-leaded waste should put considerable notices. Firstly, more and more hazards caused by nature are not only outcomes of geographical activities but also signs which to some degree caused by human activity, such as the deforestation and desert, earthquakes and oil exploration. Secondly, as the financial and technology developments, the greenhouse gases emission produced by cars or factories. Because of higher temperature, the gradually melting ice on the two-pole of the earth is a threat toward these people who live in low altitude, and it increases sea level in 1 centimetre per year. Finally, for instance, because of the waste of pure water by the human being, we might need to overexploit the underground water which might cause little earthquakes. In conclusion, I think that no matter the extinction of species and other environmental problems are equally important.
There was a lengthy dispute about whether the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the environment is the loss of certain species of plants and animals or something more essential. From my perspective,
arguably
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in depleting the number of species is as vital as other environmental phenomenons.

The argument of approving that extinction of vegetation and animals is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our fragile earth. As these species disappearing, the biodiversity of the environment will
be impeded
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent by cutting food chains. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
the ecosystem from self-adjusting to the original situation until the environment
totally
lost the ability to recover. At the same time, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to a disaster in animals, including mammals, fishes or even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
Furthermore
, the decreasing biodiversity will
also
create an unstable environmental system which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks on human's commercial product such as agriculture and aquaculture. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
stock market is likely to
be impacted
by
firstly
, which cause fear among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Notwithstanding, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as natural hazards, increasing atmosphere temperature and even human-leaded waste should put considerable notices.
Firstly
, more and more hazards caused by nature are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
outcomes of geographical activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
signs which to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activity, such as the deforestation and desert, earthquakes and oil exploration.
Secondly
, as the financial and technology developments, the greenhouse gases emission produced by cars or factories.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of higher temperature, the
gradually
melting ice on the two-pole of the earth is a threat toward these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in low altitude, and it increases sea level in 1
Possible spelling mistake. 'centimetre' is British English.
centimetre
per year.
Finally
,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the waste of pure water by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
need to
Possible spelling mistake found.
overexploit
the underground water which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
earthquakes.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that no matter the extinction of species and other environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay some people believe that it is bes to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and imorove such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts