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Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try to improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try to improve such situation. v. 1
It is a well-settled position in life that terrible circumstances are part of our everyday activity. It is commonly believed by some that is best to accept such circumstances. Whilst others are of the firm belief that it is better to improve such status. This essay will discuss both opinion and proffer my view. On one hand, some demographic of the society anchor their views that it is best to accept whatever situation you find yourself. For example, ungratified work and less income. This school of thought concede that what comes to them is not happenstance but something that has been predestined to occur. Hence, they do not query such situations no matter the prevailing circumstances. For example, they believe that their school grades are a function of one’s destiny. This position admittedly seems to make someone contented with life. On the other hand, there is a school of thought that tenaciously opine that no circumstance is destined to happen. They believe that life is all about how prepared you are and that takes you through to another level. It is therefore their common belief that one must work hard and smart to be able to acquire certain status in life. For example, football players believe in serious preparation for them to be able to defeat their opponents. I acknowledge that sometimes circumstances may lead one to some situations that one may be tempted to accept. However, this is not how life should be lived. According to psychologists, inconveniencing situations are said to be challenging. These situations are supposed to be changed by hard work particularly one’s job. One can easily advance from one job position to another through series of hard work. One cannot be expected to be complacent with certain things because that is tantamount to being a mediocre. For one to excel in life, you need to be smart and refuse to be stagnated by circumstances. In conclusion, I am of the firm opinion that at every situation one finds himself, he should strive to change it by making the necessary improvements and not adjustments.
It is a well-settled position in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that terrible circumstances are part of our everyday activity. It is
commonly
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that is
best to accept such circumstances. Whilst others are of the firm belief that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such status. This essay will discuss both opinion and proffer my view.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demographic of the society anchor their views that it is best to accept whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
you find yourself.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ungratified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and less income. This school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
concede that what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to them is not happenstance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
something that has
been predestined
to occur.
Hence
, they do not query such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
no matter the prevailing circumstances.
For example
, they believe that their school grades are a function of one’s destiny. This position
admittedly
seems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone contented with life.

On the other hand
, there is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
tenaciously
opine that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circumstance
is destined
to happen. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is all about how prepared you are and that takes you through to another level. It is
therefore
their common belief that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and smart to be able to acquire certain status in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, football players believe in serious preparation for them to be able to defeat their opponents.

I acknowledge that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
circumstances may lead one to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
that one may
be tempted
to accept.
However
, this is not how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
. According to psychologists, inconveniencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
are said
to be challenging. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
are supposed
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
particularly
one’s job. One can
easily
advance from one job position to another through series of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. One cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be complacent with certain things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
tantamount to being
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a mediocre
. For one to excel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, you need to be smart and refuse to
be stagnated
by circumstances.

In conclusion
, I am of the firm opinion that at every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
one finds himself, he should strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it by making the necessary improvements and not adjustments.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try to improve such situation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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