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Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.2

Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. 2
It is argued that presently people have several choices in contrast with the past. There are many reasons for this like nowadays everything can be done by online. In my opinion, I agree with the statement because of growth in the technology we have so many options, whereas it is not the case previously. This essay will provide evidence in support of this position. Firstly, it must be recognised that in the present scenario we have several choices that are available which helps to do work easily. This is because of development in different sectors such as medical, IT, transportation and discovery of the internet. For example, we can do online shopping, pay electricity bills as well as book tickets from home easily, but this is not the case in the past in which people used to face many difficulties. Additionally, we can also easily fly anywhere because of several modes of transport, which we have now like Aeroplanes, cars, local trains e. t. c. Secondly, we also have many benefits related to the medical sector. This is due to the discovery of different instruments, methods of treatment, and medicines. For instance, by tablet punching machine we can prepare several tablets in one shot despite previously people used to treat diseases with help of handmade products which is called as Ayurvedic treatment. Moreover, in olden days for diseased conditions like AIDS, cancer, and cardiovascular diseases, there were no proper treatment procedures or equipments but at present Doctors are finding innovative solutions for such diseases. In conclusion, in my opinion due to advancement in science and technology and invention of different instruments currently people have many choices available rather than olden days.
It
is argued
that
presently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have several choices
in contrast
with the past. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this like nowadays everything can
be done
by online. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of growth in the technology we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options, whereas it is not the case previously. This essay will provide evidence in support of this position.

Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
that in the present scenario we have several choices that are available which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to do work
easily
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of development in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors such as medical, IT, transportation and discovery of the internet.
For example
, we can do online shopping, pay electricity bills
as well
as book tickets from home
easily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not the case in the past in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties.
Additionally
, we can
also
easily
fly
anywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several modes of transport, which we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
like
Possible spelling mistake. 'Aeroplanes' is British English.
Aeroplanes
, cars, local trains e. t. c.

Secondly
, we
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits related to the medical sector. This is due to the discovery of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
instruments, methods of treatment, and medicines.
For instance
, by tablet punching machine we can prepare several tablets in one shot despite previously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to treat diseases with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of handmade products which
is called
as Ayurvedic treatment.
Moreover
, in olden days for diseased conditions like AIDS, cancer, and cardiovascular diseases, there were no proper treatment procedures or equipments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at present Doctors are finding innovative solutions for such diseases.

In conclusion
, in my opinion due to advancement in science and technology and invention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
instruments
currently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices available
rather
than olden days.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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