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Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.1

Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. 1
Many people today feel that there are several choices for the present generation. There are many reasons for this like nowadays everything can be done by online. In my opinion, I agree with the statement because of growth in the technology we have so many options, whereas it is not the case in the past. This essay will provide evidence in support of this position. Firstly, it must be recognised that in the present scenario we have several choices that are available which helps to do work easily. This is because of development in different sectors such as medical, IT, transportation. For example, we can do online shopping, pay electricity bills as well as book tickets from home, but this is not the case in the past because people did not have these many resources at that time. Additionally, we can also easily fly anywhere because of several modes of transport, which we have now like Aeroplanes, cars, local trains e. t. c. Thus, it must be concluded that we have several options available now. Secondly, we also have many benefits related to the medical sector. This is due to the discovery of different instruments, methods of treatment, and medicines. For instance, by tablet punching machine we can prepare several tablets in one shot despite previously people used to treat diseases with help of handmade products which is called as Ayurvedic treatment. Moreover, in olden days for diseased conditions like AIDS, cancer, and cardiovascular diseases, there were no proper treatment procedures or equipments but at present Doctors are trying to find solutions for such diseases. To conclude, due to technological improvement and discovery of different instruments, treatment procedures e. t. c. it can be evident that in present days people have many resources available rather than olden days. It is for these reasons I would like to support the statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
feel that there are several choices for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
generation. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this like nowadays everything can
be done
by online. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of growth in the technology we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options, whereas it is not the case in the past. This essay will provide evidence in support of this position.

Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
scenario we have several choices that are available which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to do work
easily
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of development in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors such as medical, IT, transportation.
For example
, we can do online shopping, pay electricity bills
as well
as book tickets from home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not the case in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources at that time.
Additionally
, we can
also
easily
fly
anywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several modes of transport, which we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
like
Possible spelling mistake. 'Aeroplanes' is British English.
Aeroplanes
, cars, local trains e. t. c.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be concluded
that we have several options available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Secondly
, we
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits related to the medical sector. This is due to the discovery of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
instruments, methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
, and medicines.
For instance
, by tablet punching machine we can prepare several tablets in one shot despite previously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to treat diseases with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of handmade products which
is called
as Ayurvedic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
Moreover
, in olden days for diseased conditions like AIDS, cancer, and cardiovascular diseases, there were no proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
procedures or equipments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
Doctors are trying to find solutions for such diseases.

To conclude
, due to technological improvement and discovery of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
instruments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
procedures e. t. c. it can be evident that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources available
rather
than olden days. It is for these reasons I would like to support the statement.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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