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Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations 1
It is undeniable that more and more youngsters are leaving remote areas and living in big cities. Due to this trend their parents, who are old are staying alone in rural areas. This phenomenon raised several problems. This essay will discuss what issues are occurring due to this, and what steps can be taken to solve this issue. To begin with, there are a number of problems associated with this migration as their old parents can't accompany them. The foremost is families are getting isolated. Teenagers are leaving their caretakers behind, and these older people are helpless to take care of themselves. In other words, at this age, they want someone or their children who can look after them and give a good care to them, this is what disturbed due to this movement from countrysides to towns. Secondly, in the developed cities, young people, who are living alone are helpless as they are not getting any mental support. As a result, they are suffering from several health issues like mental disorder, obesity. There can be numerous approach to solve this issue. Firstly, the government should pay attention to rural areas and try to develop these, so that the younger generation will not move to the crowdy and developed cities as they will get the study options and job options in their own town. To exemplify, there was an article published in the "Times of India", every year almost 80% young aspirants migrate from small cities to big cities for work and higher education. Secondly, individuals should consider their parents before leaving them behind. Either they can take them with, or make arrangements for any nanny or caretaker, who can look after them. In conclusion, moving towards developing areas is increasingly popular among youngsters, which gave birth to enormous issues like health problems among migrants and older people. To solve these issues government ought to take some steps.
It is undeniable that more and more youngsters are leaving remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Due to this trend their parents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are staying alone in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This phenomenon raised several problems. This essay will discuss what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are occurring due to this, and what steps can
be taken
to solve this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are a number of problems associated with this migration as their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents can't accompany them. The foremost is families are getting isolated.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are leaving their caretakers behind, and these older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are helpless to take care of themselves.
In other words
, at this age, they want someone or their children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can look after them and give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care to them, this is what disturbed due to this movement from countrysides to towns.
Secondly
, in the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living alone are helpless as they are not getting any mental support.
As a result
, they are suffering from several health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like mental disorder, obesity.

There can be numerous approach to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay attention to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and try to develop these,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the younger generation will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
crowdy
and developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the study options and job options in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
town. To exemplify, there was an article published in the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Times of India
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, every year almost 80% young aspirants migrate from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for work and higher education.
Secondly
, individuals should consider their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
leaving them behind. Either they can take them with, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
arrangements for any nanny or caretaker,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can look after them.

In conclusion
, moving towards developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is
increasingly
popular among youngsters, which gave birth to enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like health problems among migrants and older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To solve these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "issues'" or "issue's"?
issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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