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Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 3
We live in a such era where competition is in every hook in a corner whether it Is job or study. Here, some short sighted people argue that we have to accept an evil situation like unsatisfied job or lack of money. However other believe that at least we have to try to improve this type of situations. In this essay I am going to shed some lights on both views. First of all, why people want to accept their bad situations because they have a lack of confidence and they are not believed in themselves. Moreover, many people do not have any goal or aims for their life. Without any goals or aims our life is nothing and we cannot update ourself. Secondly, many young students or adults get easily distracted by the internet, games and so on. This leads result in lack of knowledge about their study or field which ultimately give them many problems for their life. On the other hand, we all know that nothing is impossible in this world. If a person works hard with the consistency he or she can achieve whatever they want. For instance, Abraham Lincoln loss election of president eight times, but still he try and try and finally become president of the United States of America. Besides, there is always a good and bad time in everyone's life. So, in such a situation a person does not need to lose hope because there is always a chance for something better. In conclusion, we can overcome this situation by doing work hard, consistently, setting goals, reading biographies of famous personalities. I strongly agree with notion to try hard and uplift such situations.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a such era where competition is in every hook in a corner whether it Is job or study. Here,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
short sighted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept an evil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
like unsatisfied job or lack of money.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
other believe that at least we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. In this essay I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lights on both views.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to accept their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a lack of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
confidence and
they are not believed in themselves.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have any goal or aims for their life. Without any goals or aims our life is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nothing and
we cannot update
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young students or adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
distracted by the internet, games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This leads result in lack of knowledge about their study or field which
ultimately
give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for their life.

On the other hand
, we all know that nothing is impossible in this world. If a person works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
with the consistency he or she can achieve whatever they want.
For instance
,

Abraham Lincoln loss election of president eight times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
he
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
finally
become
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
president of the United States
of America.
Besides
, there is always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
time in everyone's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
a person does not need to lose hope
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is always a chance for something better.

In conclusion
, we can overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
by doing work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
consistently
, setting goals, reading biographies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with notion to try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and uplift such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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