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Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 2
Although some people believe that to go with a flow even in a harsh life situation is more beneficial, others are of the opinion that it is better to address problems to make live more fulfillment. This essay will discuss both views of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective. It is reasonable to assume that acceptance of the current situation in life have some advantages. First and foremost, having difficulties with a job, money or family, it seems to be easier to blame external circumstances. Indeed, some people tend to find excuses for their own mistakes to avoid responsibility to solve them. Moreover, this approach also might help to save individuals’ resources. To clarify, supporters of the aforementioned idea don’t need to find a way to combat their problems. For example, some people tend to be on the same position in the company for years with unsatisfied salary and with the lack of self-development and promotions, but they probably have more time and energy for their family members and household choirs. On the other hand, there are some people who argue that it is significantly important to find a solution for any difficulties in life. Firstly, this allows to maintain confidence in individuals. Indeed, it appears to be the case very frequently that the more challenges are fought, the more people tend to believe in their strength to go further. What is more, those who are of this idea are more likely to have more chances for a better life. For instance, being unsatisfied with a low salary, it seems to be more beneficial to start preparing for a new interview or even start learning new material to find a better place to work in. In conclusion, while some people consider their low salaries and difficult jobs as a part of life, others prefer to face these challenges to become better version of themselves. The second approach is seems to be more beneficial since not only does it provide more opportunities, but it also results in self – development and develops the confidence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
a flow even in a harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
situation is more beneficial, others are of the opinion that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to address problems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more fulfillment. This essay will discuss both views of this argument, and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.

It is reasonable to assume that acceptance of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
First
and foremost, having difficulties with a job, money or family, it seems to be easier to blame external circumstances.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
excuses for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mistakes to avoid responsibility to solve them.
Moreover
, this approach
also
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save individuals’ resources. To clarify, supporters of the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
don’t need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a way to combat their problems.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be on the same position in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for years with unsatisfied salary and with the lack of self-development and promotions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
probably
have more time and energy for their family members and household choirs.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that it is
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a solution for any difficulties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to maintain confidence in individuals.
Indeed
, it appears to be the case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
that the more challenges
are fought
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to believe in their strength to go
further
.
What is more
, those who are of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
are more likely to have more chances for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
,
being unsatisfied
with a low salary, it seems to be more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
preparing for a new interview or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning new material to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to work in.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider their low salaries and difficult jobs as a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, others prefer to face these challenges to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
version of themselves. The second approach is seems to be more beneficial since not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it provide more opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
results in self
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
development and develops the confidence.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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