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Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 1
Music, either vocal or instrumental, is an art widely present in several peoples across the world. Thanks to this, part of society argues that unique rhythms and lyrics can influence citizens who have diverse backgrounds and are part of distinct generations to become closer. From my perspective, the before mentioned notion is completely correct, and the following paragraphs explain the two fundamental reasons why music connects people. Firstly, listening to or singing songs is a pleasure activity. As other types of leisure pastimes, such as sports, tunes have the effect of making humans' brains release more dopamine. Consequently, people enhance their openness to new experiences and friendships in a musical environment in comparison to a quiet place. For instance, a significant part of the marketing section of companies throughout the UK invests in acoustic collections to change the clients' behaviour and improves sales figures. Therefore, while consuming this art, individuals might be more open to suggestions as well as new relationships. Secondly, great rhythms are internationally recognized despite the diversity of languages. Because music is easily understandable, citizens from different countries and times can recognize and enjoy the same song. To illustrate the lack of borders, half of Michael Jackson's worldwide fans are non-English speakers. The numbers mean that even neither understanding the lyrics nor the message of songs, fans can still feel the power of his melody. Thus, this point of similarity is used by many as a way of strengthening relationships. To conclude, this essay argued that the friendly atmosphere created by songs as well as the internationally clearness of melodies has a paramount effect on people's relationships. Therefore, I entirely support that music makes individuals closer.
Music
, either vocal or instrumental, is an art
widely
present in several peoples across the world. Thanks to this, part of society argues that unique rhythms and lyrics can influence citizens who have diverse backgrounds and are part of distinct generations to become closer. From my perspective, the
before
mentioned notion is completely correct, and the following paragraphs
explain
the two fundamental reasons why
music
connects
people
.

Firstly
, listening to or singing songs is a pleasure activity. As other types of leisure pastimes, such as sports, tunes have the effect of making humans' brains release more dopamine.
Consequently
,
people
enhance their openness to new experiences and friendships in a musical environment
in comparison
to a quiet place.
For instance
, a significant part of the marketing section of
companies
throughout the UK invests in acoustic collections to
change
the clients'
behaviour
and
improves
sales figures.
Therefore
, while consuming this art, individuals might be more open to suggestions
as well
as new relationships.

Secondly
, great rhythms are
internationally
recognized despite the diversity of languages.
Because
music
is
easily
understandable, citizens from
different
countries and times can recognize and enjoy the same song. To illustrate the lack of borders, half of Michael Jackson's worldwide fans are non-English speakers. The numbers mean that even neither understanding the lyrics nor the message of songs, fans can
still
feel the power of his melody.
Thus
, this point of similarity is
used
by
many
as a way of strengthening relationships.

To conclude
, this essay argued that the friendly atmosphere created by songs
as well
as the
internationally
clearness of melodies has a paramount effect on
people
's relationships.
Therefore
, I
entirely
support that
music
makes
individuals closer.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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