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Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? v.16

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? v. 16
The environment today is threatened by many factors such as air pollution and so on. However, among the most concerning is the increase in the amount of waste produced. It is argued that the main causes of this are the availability of poor quality products and over-population. To tackle these issues, government's role will be analysed for viability. To begin with, consumerism plays a key role in the rise of garbage around the world. Nowadays, people prefer replacing the old items with the new one when the existing one stops working, which in turn adds to the waste produced. In addition, the increase in the count of inhabitants means more people throwing the products which directly increase the quantity of sewage produced. Thus, it is apparent that both these factors are dependent on each other and thereby, contribute equally towards the rubbish addition. To counter this, the government can play a major role by monitoring the objects manufactured by the companies. In other words, they can enforce these organisations to produce durable items which can be used for the longer duration. As a consequence, disposing of products will be minimised and hence, the amount of waste produced will also be reduced to a greater extent. Along with this, legal entities should concentrate on educating society about the negative effects of excessive population and work together for controlling this growth. To conclude, as it is clear, that population rise and less robust equipment's have led to the boost in the sewage within the nation. Thus, it is hoped that the government will implement regulations for developing sturdy products and thus, discourage people from creating rubbish.
The environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is threatened
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as air pollution and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, among the most concerning is the increase in the amount of waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
. It
is argued
that the main causes of this are the availability of poor quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and over-population. To tackle these issues,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's role will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
for viability.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, consumerism plays a key role in the rise of garbage around the world. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer replacing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
items with the new one when the existing one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
working, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
.
In addition
, the increase in the count of inhabitants means more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throwing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
directly
increase the quantity of sewage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
.
Thus
, it is apparent that both these factors are dependent on each other and thereby, contribute
equally
towards the rubbish addition.

To counter this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play a major role by monitoring the objects manufactured by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
In other words
, they can enforce these
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
to produce durable items which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the longer duration. As a consequence, disposing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
and
hence
, the amount of waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
will
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a greater extent. Along with this, legal entities should concentrate on educating society about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of excessive population and work together for controlling this growth.

To conclude
, as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, that population rise and less robust equipment's have led to the boost in the sewage within the nation.
Thus
, it
is hoped
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will implement regulations for developing sturdy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
thus
, discourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from creating rubbish.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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