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(2) Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

(2) Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 2
Some people think that the finest way to cope with an uncomfortable situation is to admit it, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that making an effort to overcome is preferable. From my perspective, I agree with the latter, for it will improve the quality of one’s life and make them more persistent. Some people realize that it is best to accept a dreadful situation. For example, according to a New York Times article, 85 percent of the office workers feel bored with their profession and wish to embark on new career. However, current occupation assures average salary so that they can look after their family and pay bills. Although having no interest in what they are doing, accepting and living with boredom is a choice since it is safer than quitting present job and changing for another one. If they try to do so, ending up in a worse scenario than their current status may happen. On the other hand, some people consider that they should work to address the problems. In order to lead a joyful life, they must change the difficult condition. For instance, a student comes from a low-income family attempts to pay school fees on their own by doing part-time jobs and studying diligently to gain scholarships. These people have faith in their ability and show that while others have given up, they still fight for their dreams and crave for finer things. I agree that everyone should aim to improve the unpleasant situation. For one thing, it will raise the quality of their life. To achieve a superior status, they need to do their best. Moreover, they can become more persistent. That trying to figure out how to handle not circumventing a problem is the action they will carry out. In conclusion, there are some reasons why people choose to live in a poor condition and struggle to change it, but I assume that it is better not to live in them. Instead, everybody should step out of their comfort zone and resolve the difficulties in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the finest way to cope with an uncomfortable situation is to admit it, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that making an effort to overcome is preferable. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter, for it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more persistent.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize that it is best to accept a dreadful situation.
For example
, according to a New York Times article, 85 percent of the office workers feel bored with their profession and wish to embark on new career.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
occupation assures average salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can look after their family and pay bills. Although having no interest in what they are doing, accepting and living with boredom is a choice since it is safer than quitting present job and changing for another one. If they try to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, ending up in a worse scenario than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
status may happen.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that they should work to address the problems. In order to lead a joyful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the difficult condition.
For instance
, a student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from a low-income family attempts to pay school fees on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
by doing part-time jobs and studying
diligently
to gain scholarships. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have faith in their ability and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that while others have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up, they
still
fight for their dreams and crave for finer things.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that everyone should aim to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the unpleasant situation. For one thing, it will raise the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To achieve a superior status, they need to do their best.
Moreover
, they can become more persistent. That trying to figure out how to handle not circumventing a problem is the action they will carry out.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a poor condition and struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I assume that it is better not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in them.
Instead
, everybody should step out of their comfort zone and resolve the difficulties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay (2) Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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