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The charts below the main reason for study among students of different age groups and amount of support they received from employeers. v.2

The charts below the main reason for study among students of different age groups and amount of support they received from employeers. v. 2
The charts below describe how the different age group can influence on reason of study and employer support, while over 49 aged groups have the hugest motivation for studying came from the interesting reason. To begin with the career as reason of student for studying has the biggest rate which is 80 people under 26 years old stood. Secondly, the group of 26-29 aged student also dominated by career to motivate their study. Furthermore, there are over 50 people aged above 30-39 decided stood in career. On the other hands, student 40-49 aged have same total of people who choose both career and interesting. Next there are 70 people over 49 years old picked interesting while just about 19 people vote a career. Following by the different age group could be effected on employer support more than 60 people under 26 age are able to get time off and help with fees, while the number of people who 30-39 aged have less than 40 employers support.
The charts below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how the
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different
age
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group
can influence on reason of study and employer support, while over 49
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
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groups
have the hugest motivation for studying came from the interesting reason.

To
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begin
with the
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career
as reason of student for studying has the biggest rate which is 80
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people
under 26 years
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old
stood.
Secondly
, the
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group
of 26-29
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aged
student
also
dominated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
to motivate their study.
Furthermore
, there are over 50
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
above 30-39 decided stood in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. On the other hands, student 40-49
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aged
have same total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and interesting.
Next
there are 70
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people
over 49 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
picked interesting while
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just
about 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vote a career.

Following by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
could
be effected
on employer support more than 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 26 age are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time off and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with fees, while the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who 30-39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
have less than 40 employers support.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS academic The charts below the main reason for study among students of different age groups and amount of support they received from employeers. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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