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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v.55

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 55
In the global warming period, it is argued that an ecological crisis should be given in the top priority while some contend that other environmental problems are most important. Although both of them impact on each other, I completely agree that many environmental issues need to be solved before the loss of species. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why we consider the survival of species. This change causes a domino effect on the fragile ecosystems because there is a strong symbiosis between plants and animals. The extinction of one species can lead to a lack of food resources for other species. Taking the predator is lion as an example, what would happen if one day they struggle with their primary food such as deers, antelopes disappear, they will scramble other animals for living or even endanger on the secure of people living nearby. The whole underground and underwater ecosystem can face a catastrophic disruption if the authorities don’t have strict measures to prevent. On the other hand, we can intervene in the extinction of biodiversity by taking action on other environmental issues. Firstly, global warming leading to forest fires or melting glaciers in many regions, which cause the death of animal and plant species and the destruction of natural habitat. For instance, the biggest tropical forest is Amazon, which has reached record-breaking over 80000 forest fires recently. Secondly, many rivers and oceans were polluted by releasing fossil fuels and forms of plastic over the years; this could lead to high sea level and depletes marine animals as well, a typical is blue whales which are on the brink of extinction. In conclusion, protecting the survival of animals and plants species is protecting our humanity. However, I still agree that other environmental problems should be high on the agenda
In the global warming period, it
is argued
that an ecological crisis should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the top priority while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Although both of them impact on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues need to
be solved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the loss of species.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why we consider the survival of species. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
causes a domino effect on the fragile ecosystems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a strong symbiosis between plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The extinction of one species can lead to a lack of food resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species. Taking the predator is lion as an example, what would happen if one day they struggle with their primary food such as
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "deer", the plural form of the noun 'deer'?
deers
, antelopes disappear, they will scramble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for living or even endanger on
The phrase 'the secure of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the secure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living nearby. The whole underground and underwater ecosystem can face a catastrophic disruption if the authorities don’t have strict measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, we can intervene in the extinction of biodiversity by taking action on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.
Firstly
, global warming leading to forest fires or melting glaciers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions, which cause the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and plant species and the destruction of natural habitat.
For instance
, the biggest tropical forest is Amazon, which has reached record-breaking over 80000 forest fires recently.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rivers and oceans
were polluted
by releasing fossil fuels and forms of plastic over the years; this could lead to high sea level and depletes marine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as well
,
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a typical
is blue whales which are on the brink of extinction.

In conclusion
, protecting the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants species is protecting our humanity.
However
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems should be high on the agenda
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 55

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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