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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. v.72

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. v. 72
It is commonly believed that music is one of the best ways that can be used to bring people regardless their cultures and ages together. Personally, I completely agree with this point of view. On the one hand, there are a wide range of international songs that are popular among different cultures. These range from American rock-and-roll to Korean pop music. People, who are interested in them, tend to discuss about their favourite music and pop stars on the internet using social networking websites such as Facebook where can be found different musical social groups filled by people who are from different part of the world. Furthermore, it has become commonplace that well-known bands or solo artists perform throughout the world, and everyone seems to be satisfied with that. If people listen to such songs, they will be able to learn other cultures, as it is represented in them. On the other hand, almost every culture has its own traditional music which has been handed down from previous generation to another. They are treated with respect equally by both elderly people and youngsters. It is hard to imagine when traditional festivals, religious rituals and marriage ceremonies, where all age of groups held, without traditional music. In addition, it is common in the majority of cultures to teach younger generation about their cultural heritage through folklores. This responsibility tends to be taken by elders and adults who have deep understanding in their cultural music. In conclusion, I do agree that music can bring together not only different cultures, but also different ages.
It is
commonly
believed that
music
is one of the best ways that can be
used
to bring
people
regardless their
cultures
and ages together.
Personally
, I completely
agree
with this point of view.

On the one hand, there are a wide range of international songs that are popular among
different
cultures
. These range from American rock-and-roll to Korean pop
music
.
People
, who
are interested
in them, tend to
discuss about their
favourite
music
and pop stars on the internet using social networking websites such as Facebook where can
be found
different
musical social groups filled by
people
who are from
different
part of the world.
Furthermore
, it has become commonplace that well-known bands or solo artists perform throughout the world, and everyone seems to
be satisfied
with that. If
people
listen to such songs, they will be able to learn other
cultures
, as it
is represented
in them.

On the other hand
, almost every
culture
has its
own
traditional
music
which has
been handed
down from previous generation to another. They
are treated
with respect
equally
by both elderly
people
and youngsters. It is
hard
to imagine when traditional festivals, religious rituals and marriage ceremonies, where all age of groups held, without traditional
music
.
In addition
, it is common in the majority of
cultures
to teach younger generation about their cultural heritage through
folklores
. This responsibility tends to
be taken
by elders and adults who have deep understanding in their cultural music.

In conclusion
, I do
agree
that
music
can bring together not
only
different
cultures
,
but
also
different
ages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS academic Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. v. 72

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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