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some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, bussiness and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely v.1

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, bussiness and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely v. 1
The soaring popularity in reading is undoubtedly due to the enormous benefits generated from the habit of reading along with the improvements in the accessibility to various reading sources. Compared to the electronic devices such as television, books certainly take larger significance. Therefore, the aim of this essay is to express my support towards the common claim of the superiority of reading books over watching TV. On one hand, we have every reason to believe that reading books does wonders to mental health, regarding imagination and language skills advancement. In particular, taking into account the diverse literary values of books, children have an opportunity to discover capturing stories about cultures, history as well as learning to their own point of view of fundamental problems. Furthermore, books empower communication skills in among children since they can use these literary references to discuss or make a role play. To put in other words, by reading books, children can find it easier to get along with peers. Another point worth consideration is that reading books enable children to gain deeper insights into not only the literature of all times but also the life surrounding them. Needless to say, reading is a simple method of expanding horizons. On the other hand, we should not neglect the consequences that watching TV entails. It goes without saying that watching TV is a passive activity. Therefore, this habit intrigues passive characteristics such as laziness and aggression. What is more, television programs are endless, which can be an addiction and distraction from other priorities such as studying or doing housework. Some people might advocate the consequences of being immersed in television programs to be completely negative but what these people fail to take into consideration is the content of the programs along with the frequency of watching TV. If children watch educational programs or science documentaries to a certain extent, parents will not oppose to their activities. Instead, their habits are simply serving relaxation purposes. All in all, reading books enjoy the advantages that watching TV cannot. Accordingly, I highly demand this paper be taken into detailed consideration so as to adopt suitable guidelines.
The soaring popularity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is
undoubtedly
due to the enormous benefits generated from the habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
along with the improvements in the accessibility to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
sources. Compared to the electronic devices such as television,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
certainly
take larger significance.
Therefore
, the aim of this essay is to express my support towards the common claim of the superiority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
over watching TV.

On one hand, we have every reason to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
does wonders to mental health, regarding imagination and language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
advancement.
In particular
, taking into account the diverse literary values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have an opportunity to discover capturing stories about cultures, history
as well
as learning to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view of fundamental problems.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
empower communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these literary references to discuss or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
role play
. To put
in other words
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can find it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with peers. Another point worth consideration is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to gain deeper insights into not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the literature of all times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the life surrounding them. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is a simple method of expanding horizons.

On the other hand
, we should not neglect the consequences that watching TV entails. It goes without saying that watching TV is a passive activity.
Therefore
, this habit intrigues passive characteristics such as laziness and aggression.
What is more
, television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are endless, which can be an addiction and distraction from other priorities such as studying or doing housework.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might advocate the consequences of
being immersed
in television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to be completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail to take into consideration is the content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
along with the frequency of watching TV. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
or science documentaries to a certain extent, parents will not oppose to their activities.
Instead
, their habits are
simply
serving relaxation purposes.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
enjoy the advantages that watching TV cannot.
Accordingly
, I
highly
demand this paper
be taken
into detailed consideration
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
adopt suitable guidelines.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, bussiness and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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