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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believes that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. v.8

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believes that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely. v. 8
Some people might think that advantages of publishing more information in every fields outweigh its optimal sharing, while some strongly believe that researcher should not show important data to freely publish in order to achieve their objectives. Until now, there are many routes to search data either free access or pay money. The reasons for this are concerned with sharing total data is a good way to be successful. One advantage of publishing as much as possible is organization could sharply communicate citizen to learn how to develop skill in their new careers especially in economic turn down situation. This makes an individual become an expert in certain job. Moreover, the students have an opportunity to acquire reliable knowledge in order to solve their problems outside classrooms when they cannot contact professors. Although, many information have been published easily but these had not proved for accuracy. This must have been checked reliable resources before apply in objective. On the other hand, the crucial data tend to be privacy in company and it must have limited persons to look for these such as strategy or budget. This is the reason that competitors might plagiarism in management and planning. However, there are some disadvantages, for example in medical research, doctor and healthcare provider cannot access data in update new technology or guidelines in order to deal with new epidemic disease or complicated patients. In conclusion, it is difficult to share freely all types of information because beneficial for inventers. On balance I believe that the reason of post valuable data will make the world change better. Finally, this important as it is both generating education and income in the countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advantages of publishing more information in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "field"?
fields
outweigh its optimal sharing, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strongly
believe that researcher should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to
freely
publish in order to achieve their objectives. Until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
routes to search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
either free access or pay money. The reasons for this
are concerned
with sharing total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to be successful.

One advantage of publishing as much as possible is organization could
sharply
communicate citizen to learn how to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in their new careers
especially
in economic turn down situation. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an individual become an expert in certain job.
Moreover
, the students have an opportunity to acquire reliable knowledge in order to solve their problems outside classrooms when they cannot contact professors. Although,
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
many information
have
been published
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these had not proved for accuracy. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
reliable resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
apply in objective.

On the other hand
, the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
tend to be privacy in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have limited persons to look for these such as strategy or budget. This is the reason that competitors might plagiarism in management and planning.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages,
for example
in medical research, doctor and healthcare provider cannot access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in update new technology or guidelines in order to deal with new epidemic disease or complicated patients.

In conclusion
, it is difficult to share
freely
all types of information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
beneficial for
Possible spelling mistake found.
inventers
. On
The comma is probably missing here: "balance, I".
balance I
believe that the reason of post valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
better.
Finally
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it is both generating education and income in the countries.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believes that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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