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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 5
Globalisation, along with the extensive use of digital technology, has facilitated information sharing among academics and business people, regardless of nationality and race. I agree that the easy access to valuable information can foster innovation and address some global problems, despite the risk that information can be misused. We can find solutions to problems easily if we have unlimited access to different databases, such as those which contain information about how to cure diseases, prevent famines and mitigate pollution. This kind of knowledge is not available for people living in some poorest sections of the world, and this why they are still afflicted by some preventable diseases and problems that can otherwise be avoided. Some people are reluctant to share their know-how because they are afraid that their knowledge and intellectual properties can be exploited. This is particularly understandable in the business world, where companies are not willing to provide information about their managerial skills, software and patented products on the Internet. Their competitiveness would be undermined if their global competitors could acquire such information. I would, however, view this issue in a positive light. While it is up to business owners to decide what information is withheld, they should exchange their ideas with their peers in the same industry. It can create an atmosphere worldwide, in which designers, inventors and engineers can mine each other’s information with permissions and come up with creative solutions, without having to advance their research alone through trial and error. In conclusion, it may not be practical to require all people to give up the ownership of their essential knowledge, but they should accept that sharing in a globalised world is better than concealing information.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
, along with the extensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of digital technology, has facilitated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
sharing among academics and business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regardless of nationality and race. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the easy access to valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can foster innovation and address
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
global problems, despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be misused
.

We can find solutions to problems
easily
if we have unlimited access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
databases, such as those which contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about how to cure diseases,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
famines and mitigate pollution. This kind of knowledge is not available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poorest sections of the world, and this why they are
still
afflicted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
preventable diseases and problems that can
otherwise
be avoided
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reluctant to share their know-how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are afraid that their knowledge and intellectual properties can
be exploited
. This is
particularly
understandable in the business world, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are not willing to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about their managerial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, software and patented products on the Internet. Their competitiveness would
be undermined
if their global competitors could acquire such information.

I would,
however
, view this issue in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
light. While it is up to business owners to decide what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is withheld
, they should exchange their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with their peers in the same industry. It can create an atmosphere worldwide, in which designers, inventors and engineers can mine each other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with permissions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with creative solutions, without having to advance their research alone through trial and error.

In conclusion
, it may not be practical to require all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to give up the ownership of their essential knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should accept that sharing in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world is better than concealing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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