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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v.49

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 49
In this era of "freedom of speech and democracy", restricting information for the sake of vague public security and national importance seems quite irrational to many when others opine that information should be available only when the authority deem them suitable for access. Both parties have their reasons for arguments, and I personally believe that scientific studies, academic arena and businesses can be greatly benefitted if all information is made open to them. To begin with, sensitive information, that could penetrate state security, lead to public outcry, hand over technologies to terrorist groups and facilitates corporate monopoly in the trade sector, deserves to be scrutinized before making them publicly accessible. In this digital era, information spread like wildfire and for the sake of maintaining global peace, they should be delimited, according to many. For instance, if nuclear technology is shared with all nations for scientific studies, the world will soon stand on the verge of obliteration, despite an inconceivable possibility this technology possesses to facilitate the citizens. On the contrary, scientific research largely depends on available data and previous discoveries. If valuable information and past findings are not shared openly with academics and researchers, global progress will become standstill. For instance, the Internet is probably the most significant invention the modern world has produced and if this technology had not been shared by the US military, we would still be living in the pre-internet era. Moreover, the curbed information has no value if they are not implemented in the real world and thus curbing them is like slaughtering the potential for progress. Finally, world history suggests that the human race has advanced due to discoveries and inventions shared with the world as each finding went through profound modification and advancement. I thus personally favour the ideology that supports 'free information for all'. In conclusion, information has limited value when they are curbed and not shared with great minds. For the true global progress, restriction on valuable information should be debarred and let people know the truth instead of keeping them in dark.
In this era of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
freedom of speech and democracy
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for the sake of vague public security and national importance seems quite irrational to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
when others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the authority deem them suitable for access. Both parties have their reasons for arguments, and I
personally
believe that scientific studies, academic arena and businesses can be
greatly
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is made
open to them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, that could penetrate state security, lead to public outcry, hand over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to terrorist groups and facilitates corporate monopoly in the trade sector, deserves to
be scrutinized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making them
publicly
accessible. In this digital era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
spread like wildfire and for the sake of maintaining global peace, they should
be delimited
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
For instance
, if nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
with all nations for scientific studies, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
stand on the verge of obliteration, despite an inconceivable possibility this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
possesses to facilitate the citizens.

On the contrary
, scientific research
largely
depends on available data and previous discoveries. If valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and past findings are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
openly
with academics and researchers, global progress will become standstill.
For instance
, the Internet is
probably
the most significant invention the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has produced and if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
had not been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
by the US military, we would
still
be living in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-internet
era.
Moreover
, the curbed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has no value if they are not implemented in the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
thus
curbing them is like slaughtering the potential for progress.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
history suggests that the human race has advanced due to discoveries and inventions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as each finding went through profound modification and advancement. I
thus
personally
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the ideology that supports 'free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for all'.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has limited value when they
are curbed
and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
with great minds. For the true global progress, restriction on valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be debarred
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know the truth
instead
of keeping them in dark.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 49

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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