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some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. other believe that some information is to important or too valuable to share freely. v.43

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. other believe that some information is to important or too valuable to share freely. v. 43
Many people have claimed that every scientific, academic or even business is it available to let other know while some people is definitely disagree. In this essay I will argue it is should or should not, if it is, what is the following result that might come next. In my opinion, learning a new stuffs whether it is academic or not, is it good anyway. So if it is about science thing such as a new chemical water that come with new modified plant, can be burnt your skin, therefore if people know about it. This damages from this thing is prevented to hurt anyone. In contrast, what if it's all about the end of the world like in the movie called 2012. People might go wild and panic. They are despaired and all of his/her money that is saved from the day they get first salary might be used in nonsense stuff, because they are believed that they will not have a change to use it, then spend it now. Moreover, for a business stuff. If you open a huge company with the existence of varying enemy, some of them might use those information that is able for anyone to know use it to destroy your company. To conclude, I strongly disagree to let everyone get into scientific, business and some of academic knowledge, without exception. It can cause a lot of disaster in the future. Thus, we have to concede some of those to prevent bad things, caused by has known something we should not know it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have claimed that every scientific, academic or even business is it available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
definitely
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
. In this essay I will argue it
Did you mean "it"?
is
should or should not, if it is, what is the following result that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
next
.

In my opinion, learning a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "stuff"?
stuffs
whether it is academic or not, is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
anyway.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if it is about science thing such as
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "new chemical water".
a new chemical water
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with new modified plant, can
be burnt
your skin,
therefore
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about it. This damages from this thing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
to hurt anyone.

In contrast
, what if it's all about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the world like in the movie called 2012.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
go wild and panic. They
are despaired
and all of his/her money that
is saved
from the day they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
first
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in nonsense stuff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are believed
that they will not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, then spend it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Moreover
, for a business stuff. If you open a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with the existence of varying enemy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "this information" or "those informations"?
those information
that is
able for anyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To conclude
, I
strongly
disagree to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into scientific, business and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of academic knowledge, without exception. It can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disaster in the future.
Thus
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concede
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things, caused by has known something we should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. other believe that some information is to important or too valuable to share freely. v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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