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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.42

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 42
According to some people, there are many benefits in sharing crucial information in the field of science, business and academic world while others argue that some information is too valuable, so it is better to keep it confidential. In my opinion, I agree that sharing important knowledge has more advantages for the development of the society. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view carefully. To begin with, some people think that valuable information should not be opened to public freely because the person who discovered should get paid for the information. In the business field, it is certain that researching and inventing are challenging works and these take a long time to proceed. If the companies and publishers share crucial articles widely in public, their information would become worthless and they may lose chances to obtain profit. As a result, those financial difficulties would obstruct the business to be maintained. On the other hand, I believe that sharing crucial information to the public has great advantages. For one thing, sharing useful research of science would contribute to public health. For example, in an emergency case such as infection of novel disease, scientists have a responsibility to share their proficient knowledge to cure the patients and stop the infection from spreading. To achieve this, the governments are advised to subsidize the scientists enable them to continue the valuable studies. In conclusion, there are some considerable drawbacks of sharing valuable information to the public freely in business purpose. However, I believe that sharing important scientific knowledge is essential to society’s health issue.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the field of science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and academic world while others argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it confidential. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
knowledge has more advantages for the development of the society. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view
carefully
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should not
be opened
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the person who discovered should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
field, it is certain that researching and inventing are challenging works and these take a long time to proceed. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and publishers share crucial articles
widely
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
would become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
worthless and
they may lose chances to obtain profit.
As a result
, those financial difficulties would obstruct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to
be maintained
.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
has great advantages. For one thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
useful research of science would contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health.
For example
, in an emergency case such as infection of novel disease, scientists have a responsibility to share their proficient knowledge to cure the patients and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the infection from spreading. To achieve this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are advised
to subsidize the scientists enable them to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
studies.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considerable drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
freely
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
purpose.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
scientific knowledge is essential to society’s health issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 42

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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