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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely v.36

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely v. 36
Scientific researches are very important to develop all angles of modern world because it can support to invent the new innovations which regard to business, technology, or medical treatment. To publish the information of research are useful, but the others think this data should belong to the researcher groups or regard to institutions. In my view, the information should belong to who exploring it and some of it may dangerously for distribution to everyone. Researching is not easy. It would take time, energy, and resource for gathering or analysis all data before refining it to a good clue. Definitely, it would take a huge money for studying. Therefore, all of the material should not free and are asset of researchers or supporters. For instance, in some business they have a lot of studying in some research for developing their project. If they release their research the competitor may can exploit and take advantage from their secret knowledge. It is unfair; thus, some material should be confidential or pay for the data. Whether share or not should let the researchers decide. Many people might believe that sharing report might be more beneficial, such as it can help a lot student can do their work or project in their academy, but some knowledge is dangerous. For example, the article about making bombs from fertilizer. Terrorist can use it for violent the other or some teenager try to make it for fun. In conclusion, Although, it may be positive for the business and educational institution. Free sharing the info should let the researchers decide that they want to share or not and some data are not useful and should prohibit.
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to develop all angles of modern world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can support to invent the new innovations which regard to business, technology, or medical treatment. To publish the information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
are useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
should belong to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researcher
groups or regard to institutions. In my view, the information should belong to
Did you mean "whom"?
who
exploring it and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of it may
dangerously
for distribution to everyone.

Researching is not easy. It would take time, energy, and resource for gathering or analysis all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
refining it to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
clue. Definitely, it would take
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge money".
a huge money
for studying.
Therefore
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
material should not free and are asset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
or supporters.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
studying in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for developing their project. If they release their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
the competitor may can exploit and take advantage from their secret knowledge. It is unfair;
thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
material should be confidential or pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. Whether share or not should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
decide.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might believe that sharing report might be more beneficial, such as it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot student can do their work or project in their academy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
For example
, the article about making bombs from fertilizer. Terrorist can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for violent the other or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it for fun.

In conclusion
, Although, it may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for the business and educational institution. Free sharing the info should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
decide that they want to share or not and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
are not useful and should prohibit.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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