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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.33

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 33
Nowadays, sharing information is an often-debated topic. Some individuals argue that there is no problem with sharing knowledge in various areas such as scientific research, business and the academic world. Some people, however, think that it would be wise not to share data without any price, since some data may be too important or too valuable. Both these views will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in this essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion. First of all, many people believe that every data should be free and accessible for humanity. They think that sharing knowledge is important to encourage people to do some scientific research or academic work which will help nations to develop and become better civilizations in the long-run. For example, Albert Einstein has found the theory of relativity and it is now used by many physicists for greater good. Therefore, in my opinion, information should be free and accessible for all people. Nevertheless, some individuals hold the idea that suggests knowledge should not be shared freely. Because, they think that some data may be too significant to share. Besides, they also believe that sharing a lot of data without any charge may lead to increasing amounts of plagiarism. For instance, many people argue that students may be doomed to be less creative due to the increasing amount of plagiarism. It is an unwanted problem, since it could be very harmful for a nation’s future. However, it is only a theory. Hence, it can’t be argued that sharing data must not be free. To sum up, some people believe that information should be free and accessible for everyone, while others not. Although both these views have strong supports, after a thorough analysis of both sides, it is concluded that all information should be free for everyone which would be better nations in the long-term.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
-debated topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals argue that there is no problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
knowledge in various areas such as scientific research, business and the academic world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would be wise not to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
without any price, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
may be too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or too valuable. Both these views will be
thoroughly
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
and discussed in this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a reasoned conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and accessible for humanity. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
knowledge is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientific research or academic work which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
nations to develop and become better civilizations in the long-run.
For example
, Albert Einstein has found the theory of relativity and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physicists for greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Therefore
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and accessible for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that suggests knowledge should not
be shared
freely
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
may be too significant to share.
Besides
, they
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
without any charge may lead to increasing amounts of plagiarism.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that students may
be doomed
to be less creative due to the increasing amount of plagiarism. It is an unwanted problem, since it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for a nation’s future.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a theory.
Hence
, it can’t
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be free.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and accessible for everyone, while others not. Although both these views have strong supports, after a thorough analysis of both sides, it
is concluded
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for everyone which would be better nations in the long-term.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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