Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.32

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 32
Sharing knowledge in the fields of science, education and trade is a heavily debated topic. While some people are of the opinion that any knowledge obtained should be shared actively and deliberately, others hold the belief that, it is vital to have some information classified. In my opinion, information should be shared extensively by all means, because that is the way we can aspire to evolve and develop, as a species. In this essay, we will throw a glimpse on both these views. When newer advances in the fields of academics, scientific research, and sales and marketing are conveyed to the larger public, there is always a greater chance for more development. For instance, Issac Newton's work on gravity revolutionised the field of science and helped Albert Einstein in formulating the theory of relativity. Thus, when a piece of information is shared, it often paves the way for further growth in the field. Furthermore, when something is shared with the masses, it encourages people to challenge the idea. Hence, I believe information should be made public for development and evolution, as a community. On the other hand, a large proportion of people argue that certain information should remain private and confidential. They argue that, some data has to be protected from public knowledge because of security concerns. For example, sharing scientific developments about nuclear and atomic research projects may cause social outcasts to use that knowledge against the masses, which will have devastating effects on the society. Consequently, the resources that need to be used for developmental purposes would rather be used against it. Though, I believe that information should be shared widely, it only makes sense to have a cautious approach towards handling more integral ones. In conclusion, though the opinions for sharing information in the fields of science, trade and academics vary, I think it's vital that these developments are shared extensively, but with some deliberation and caution. The way information is shared will gain more importance with further development of technology.
Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of science, education and trade is a
heavily
debated topic. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
obtained should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
actively
and
deliberately
, others hold the belief that, it is vital to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
classified. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
extensively
by all means,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
the way we can aspire to evolve and develop, as a species. In this essay, we will throw a glimpse on both these views.

When newer advances in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of academics, scientific research, and sales and marketing
are conveyed
to the larger public, there is always a greater chance for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
For instance
, Issac Newton's work on gravity
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of science and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
Albert Einstein in formulating the theory of relativity.
Thus
, when a piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
paves the way for
further
growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
Furthermore
, when something is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
with the masses, it encourages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to challenge the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Hence
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be made
public for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and evolution, as a community.

On the other hand
, a large proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should remain private and confidential. They argue that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be protected
from public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of security concerns.
For example
, sharing scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
about nuclear and atomic research projects may cause social outcasts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
against the masses, which will have devastating effects on the society.
Consequently
, the resources that need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for developmental purposes would
rather
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
against it. Though, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
widely
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense to have a cautious approach towards handling more integral ones.

In conclusion
, though the opinions for sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of science, trade and academics vary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's vital that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
extensively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deliberation and caution. The way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
will gain more importance with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of technology.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts