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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believes that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. v.27

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believes that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely. v. 27
A segment of society holds an opinion that the share information as much as possible in three different sectors like scientific research, business and in the academic world while others asserts that some information is too crucial or too valuable to share freely. Because, sharing data is good for many individuals, but some consider this an essential fact cannot be shared with everyone. Certain aspects relating to these situations will be discussed ahead before reaching its final verdict. To commence with, there are several reasons why it is beneficial to share clue as much as they can with these three different sectors. Firstly, in order to make better relationships between the fields, it is necessary to divide the tip, because sharing things with each other can delineate the increment in love of affection. Moreover, it helps to surmount in the experience of the employees because they go in the various sectors in the regarding to share information and this helps to increase in the experience of the workers. Hence, due to all of the above reasons, it is good to share their words with another one. Proceeding further, even though share big facts are good, some consider that much information is private. Furthermore, sometimes this elucidates the remarkable economic decrement in a particular sector because when companies share their private information with opposition company; they damage other company for their profits. Although, when a scientific research, business and academic world keep their valuable information private, this helps to save their future, because with the help of these clues they are able to increase in their popularity. To encapsulate, although sharing things is a good habit in my view, sometimes it would be a negative effect on a particular sector, because some advice is too valuable which is the not shareable with others. Sharing the words with others should be limited.
A segment of society holds an opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as much as possible in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
like scientific research, business and in the academic world while others asserts that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is too crucial or too valuable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
freely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
data is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider this an essential fact cannot
be shared
with everyone. Certain aspects relating to these situations will
be discussed
ahead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching its final verdict.

To commence with, there are several reasons why it is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
clue as much as they can with these three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
Firstly
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better relationships between the fields, it is necessary to divide the tip,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
things with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
can delineate the increment in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of affection.
Moreover
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to surmount in the experience of the employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they go in the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in the
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to increase in the experience of the workers.
Hence
, due to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
above reasons, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their words with another one.

Proceeding
further
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
facts are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consider that much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is private.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this elucidates the remarkable economic decrement in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with opposition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
; they damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for their profits. Although, when a scientific research, business and academic world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
private, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to save their future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of these clues they are able to increase in their popularity.

To encapsulate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
things is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habit in my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice is too valuable which is the not shareable with others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sharing
the words with others should
be limited
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believes that some information is too important or too valuable to share freely. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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