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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v.22

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 22
In today’s world, knowledge is treated as the key to success. Data is now considered as wealth. But it’s very interesting to understand if sharing this information is good or harmful. It is said that sharing your knowledge with people is the best form of donation as it can be carried forward with generations. The information that people gain over years makes them experts in that domain. Hence, it’s helpful if that information is passed on to those who are in need. Sharing your experience can motivate a child to bring a change in the world. Your knowledge can help a business to cut down the costs and earn more profits. Applying your learning can solve problems and help scientists discover something. For example, ancient Indian scientists and doctors wrote and preserved their expertise and learning in the written format which is still applicable in the 21st century. As every coin has two sides, sharing info can also put someone in trouble. There are certain types of contents which are confidential and very valuable and sharing such data can cause some serious problems. Data has become a very powerful tool and if used incorrectly, it can be misused. Sometimes, this can also affect the security of any nation. At certain times, there might be a very important financial data of a company might get leaked and can take it at risk For example, the most popular brand Coca Cola has a secret formula which is not shared with anyone. Imagine what would happen if such an important formula gets stolen. For certain industries, their data is very sensitive and if it's breached, can cause financial losses to that company. To conclude, I believe sharing of any data depends on its type and sensitivity. But, before sharing any content, we need to analyse its consequences and whether it’s going to bring a positive change in the society.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, knowledge
is treated
as the key to success.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered as wealth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting to understand if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
this information is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or harmful.

It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
your knowledge with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is the best form of donation as it can
be carried
forward with generations. The information that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gain over years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them experts in that domain.
Hence
, it’s helpful if that information
is passed
on to those who are in need.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sharing
your experience can motivate a child to bring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the world. Your knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a business to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the costs and earn more profits. Applying your learning can solve problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
scientists discover something.

For example
, ancient Indian scientists and doctors wrote and preserved their expertise and learning in the written format which is
still
applicable in the 21st century.

As every coin has two sides,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
info can
also
put someone in trouble. There are certain types of contents which are confidential and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
powerful tool and if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
incorrectly
, it can
be misused
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, this can
also
affect the security of any nation. At certain times, there might be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
leaked and can take it at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
risk


For example
, the most popular brand Coca Cola has a secret formula which is not shared with anyone. Imagine what would happen if such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
formula
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
stolen. For certain industries, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive and if it's breached, can cause financial losses to that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To conclude
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
depends on its type and sensitivity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
any content, we need to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
its consequences and whether it’s going to bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 22

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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