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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.19

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 19
Knowledge increases when it is shared and hence some people believe that scientific, technical and business information should be shared freely; however, others opine that it is better to keep some information confidential. In my opinion, both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages. We live in an age where new inventions happen almost every single day. Sharing this information is important because it helps to keep us updated with the inventions happening around us. Also, these researches can be used to develop technologies that can be used by people to ease their lives and for the betterment of the society. For instance, the invention of stem cells therapy pushed the boundaries of medical science. By using stem cells in laboratories we can create any organ we want! This regeneration helps us to avoid the danger of donor organ rejection. Sharing such useful inventions helps the students to be up to date with the recent procedures and thus become much better professionals. On the other hand, sharing too much information can be dangerous. For example, research related to weapons and nuclear science is extremely sensitive and confidential. If it is fallen into wrong hands it can lead to wars and terrorist activity. Likewise, some information regarding business finances and the algorithm is kept confidential by companies to stay ahead of the competition. Sharing this information may incur major financial loss for the company and loss of its USP / competitive edge. To conclude, my opinion is a neutral one. It is extremely important for the world to share knowledge regarding science and business but it is equally crucial to safeguard the information that is sensitive to companies and the country.
Knowledge increases when it
is shared
and
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that scientific, technical and business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be shared
freely
;
however
, others opine that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
confidential. In my opinion, both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an age where new inventions happen almost every single day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sharing
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us updated with the inventions happening around us.
Also
, these researches can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to develop technologies that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and for the betterment of the society.
For instance
, the invention of stem cells therapy pushed the boundaries of medical science. By using stem cells in laboratories we can create any organ we want! This regeneration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of donor organ rejection.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sharing
such useful inventions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the students to be up to date with the recent procedures and
thus
become much better professionals.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
For example
, research related to weapons and nuclear science is
extremely
sensitive and confidential. If it
is fallen
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands it can lead to wars and terrorist activity.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding business finances and the algorithm is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
confidential by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to stay ahead of the competition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sharing
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may incur major financial loss for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and loss of its USP / competitive edge.

To conclude
, my opinion is a neutral one. It is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the world to share knowledge regarding science and business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
equally
crucial to safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
sensitive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and the country.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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