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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give tour own opinion. v.16

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 16
People have different opinions regarding to share the information is too necessarily and valuable to be contributed free of cost. In my opinion, knowledge is power, so share the information is an essential part of the life. One information to share with other people and get the most valuable information. I will discuss both of the views in my further writing. It is started with the more data share is possible in scientific research, business, The academic world. However, nowadays it is not possible to share the any information to everybody. There are some reason, for instance, one person share the data about a road instruction and all scientific research listen this idea. Although one scientific robbery this idea and used for doing the wrong work. That is creating a big problem in other countries. On the other hand, data shared freely is significant and valuable because to enhance their knowledge or value in all over the world. Moreover, a good idea is changing the country life and thinking also. In the modern era, people do not share the ownership idea. If those people share the facts to an another person so they get the most money. People are most selfishness in own duties which is not understandable, whey they are present them to the public. In conclusion, in my opinion that people share many particulars about their business work, research or The academic work. If share more detail in coming days country will make progress. Person's life will be easy also feel comfortable and relaxed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is too
necessarily
and valuable to
be contributed
free of cost. In my opinion, knowledge is power,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is an essential part of the life. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the most valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. I will discuss both of the views in my
further
writing.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with the more data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
is possible in scientific research, business,

The academic world.
However
, nowadays it is not possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to everybody. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason,
for instance
, one person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the data about a road instruction and all scientific research listen this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
. Although one scientific robbery this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for doing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
work.
That is
creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in other countries.

On the other hand
, data shared
freely
is significant and valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to enhance their knowledge or value in all over the world.
Moreover
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
is changing the country life and thinking
also
. In the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the ownership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
. If those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the facts to
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a person" or "another person".
an another person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the most money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are most selfishness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
duties which is not understandable, whey they are present them to the public.

In conclusion
, in my opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
particulars about their business work, research or The academic work.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
more detail in coming days country will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress. Person's life will be easy
also
feel comfortable and relaxed.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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