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Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academical world. Others believe that aome information is too important ot too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.7

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academical world. Others believe that aome information is too important ot too valuable to be shared freely. v. 7
It is believed by a section of society that it is valuable to provide more data from the field of scientific research, business category as well as academically. Whereas another section of society argued that some valuable details are so private to be shared among people. Although having up-to-date information is beneficial for the world, yet it is believed that some reports are confidential and would not be shared. This essay will discuss both views in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, it is beneficial to share material among people as they would know about new technologies as well as current affairs. For instance, some students, who are preparing for UPSC exams or any government exam should know about general knowledge to clear that exam. Similarly, for other categories, it is really important to get updated knowledge of that individual field. It is the right of an individuals' to get proper details of report of what is going on in the world, whether it is scientific research or business and academic. On the other side, some info is so confidential and should not be shared among public. For example, Information related to the military forces of a country ought to be not exposed due to some privacy. Moreover, there are some other example that proves the opposition of sharing information freely, namely, scientists' discoveries which are on process should not be shared with the world, until they got success in that mission. In addition, academic research also includes some justification and proper approval of their work to share correct tips. In conclusion, Sharing instruction among people in each category depends on the situation and correct time. It is a right of each person to get valuable data on every field until the correct time come to provide that information.
It
is believed
by a section of society that it is valuable to provide more data from the field of scientific research, business category
as well
as
academically
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
another section of society argued that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
private to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Although having up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is beneficial for the world,
yet
it
is believed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reports are confidential and would not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
. This essay will discuss both views in subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, it is beneficial to share material among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they would know about new technologies
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students, who are preparing for
Possible spelling mistake found.
UPSC
exams or any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
exam should know about general knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that exam.
Similarly
, for other categories, it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated knowledge of that individual field. It is the right of an individuals' to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of report of what is going on in the world, whether it is scientific research or business and academic.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
info is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
confidential and should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
among public.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
related to the military forces of a country ought to be not exposed due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
privacy.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other example that proves the opposition of sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
freely
,
namely
, scientists' discoveries which are on process should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
with the world, until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
success in that mission.
In addition
, academic research
also
includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
justification and proper approval of their work to share correct tips.

In conclusion
, Sharing instruction among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in each category depends on the situation and correct time. It is a right of each person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
valuable data on every field until the correct time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to provide that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academical world. Others believe that aome information is too important ot too valuable to be shared freely. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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